Comedy Roundtable

Rich Aronovitch

February 15, 2022 Comedy Roundtable Season 5 Episode 52
Comedy Roundtable
Rich Aronovitch
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Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to another episode of Comedy Roundtable with guest comedian Rich Aronovitch. Tune in to hear your favorite hosts and the hilarious Rich explore the three topics of this episode: Romantic Gestures, I Do Declare and Man vs. Animal. 

You've seen Rich Aronovitch on NBC’S The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Three Men and A Chick Flick on The W.E. Network, Gotham Comedy LIVE, Last Comic Standing as well as The Morning Show on Playboy TV.  He's known as a foodie who has been a guest judge on Beat Bobby Flay multiple times,

After listening to Rich on Comedy Roundtable, you can tune in to hear him on Opie and Jim, Friday’s with Jim Breuer on Raw Dog Channel 99 and Standup with Pete Dominick on XM Sirius Radio.  Be sure to follow Rich across social media, and don't miss his amazing dance videos on Tik Tok (you'll be surprised how good Rich is at dancing).

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People around here trust the shippers. Jamie. Adam in the other Jamie. They always have the sheep trust to gather around. I'll throw another log on the fire. Turn it up just a touch with another episode of the podcast is starting now. Brand new episode starting now. Jamie Bendele Jamie, Hernan Adam. Hey IG. Ooh, I like to double very excited about our episode that we're recording now our guest is a good friend of mine. I known him for many years terrific comedian. I'm gonna do the thing that comedians always hate which is which is read a bio that we don't know how currently it was updated. He has danced with Shara on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Charo but you could have multiple episodes of three minute and a chick flick on W E as well as the morning show on Playboy TV. He has multiple times been a guest judge on beat Bobby Flay two episodes of access TV's Gotham comedy live Last Comic Standing and a movie produced by Lionsgate wing man Inc. You can hear him, of course on satellite radio, any of the terrific programs that are on there. And if you don't follow his social media content, you absolutely should, because he has what I think is both an original take on some memes and trends, I guess, but also really has a very interesting, I would like to think that it's a character that has his name. Maybe we'll find that out. But a recurring piece that is just terrific. Please welcome our guest comedian rich Arata Mitch, what's going on, buddy, well pronounced Jamie, well pronounced. Did you in fact, have an opportunity ever one on one to beat Bobby Flay? I was a guest judge. Yeah, I know. But I just didn't know sometimes when, when the cameras get turned off. You're like, Bobby, I can actually take you? Um, no, because I was like, kind of like, I'm a guest in your house right now. I was a guest in his house. And I mean, I got along with him really well, I made him laugh. But my job was to judge the food as neutral as possible. shows pretty awesome, very genuine, you actually taste the food without knowing who's whose it is. You make notes. And then they have your piece in your ear and they try to feed back what you said in the tent. Interesting. That was one of my questions was the was the fix in and we'll fix it all. Oh, that's great. And if I was going up against Bobby Flay, I'd let him one two. Because I was in his house. He's actually like, I actually could tell it was his and it was way better. But the story on that show is I had I got sick I don't really get sick that often. Food poisoning is like sick, sick, sick. Like I was shaking so much. I couldn't be. And I it was Monday morning, I couldn't cancel because then I would never do the show again. So I showed up didn't tell my sick just did the fist pump, sweated through two shirts. And then I was like throwing up all night. And so when we taste clam pizza as you're sweating, you're unable to say like, it's so spicy. There's like there's no spaces. Yeah, what's the adrenaline kicks in? You're like, I feel fine. And then you're caught and you're like, you're professional. Alright, so you have that intro? I must say that on any sort of bio if you have a reference to Shara Oh, I'm guessing it might be dated. No Could you could you know that's a classic. I will say for sure forever guessing that didn't happen recently. Oh 2008. So yeah, yeah, not recently. Did you just bio shame me is that what just happened I was only bio shaming Bendel's reading of the bio. So I was fine with your bio and your background. I'm just sharing Bendel's reading of it alright. So we are going to give you the choice of three topics on which we will ask lightning which we will ask a lightning round question about you get to pick one of the three Here are your choices. Man versus animal. Okay, romantic gestures. Or I do declare hoof man versus animal and versus and all right, our first lightning round is man versus animal would you like to go clockwise or counterclockwise? Clockwise clockwise starting with Adam? What is the biggest animal you think you could defeat in hand to hand combat a dog? Okay, you think you could defeat a dog? I think so. Okay, should we discuss breed of dog? No, there's a dog do you want to know why I want to say that there's a slight you can explain that's an answer that allows we will allow clarification I have a 15 month old child and I remember when I was walking my kid there was a dog that was right. I remember thinking to myself I'm gonna have to kill a dog today when I love dogs right but it was that Daddy? Oh, Cuz usually you know the testosterone How do I express love through violence right worse. Sure. And I went I literally had the thought I go, I will kill that dog. Yeah, like I'm gonna have to throw down if it comes between baby and dog The dog doesn't walk away. Yes. So that's why I thought, okay, yeah, I think kind of prepared. It's good that the baby was 15 months old because you would argue the baby was younger at the time. He's 15 months now. Okay, but he was a few months old. Oh, so you'd already developed an attachment. Oh, Major. The minute he was born, it was. Well, okay. Jamie doesn't have that with his kids. They're in their 20s Now, and we still don't have attachment yet, but that's okay. I'm gonna have a shoe a dog. I don't know that I would kill a dog. Yeah, if any of your kids were in trouble and have to be capable of loving something. He is yet not there. I would say the smaller the dog the less confident I am that I can defend myself against the dog. Oh, well the bigger dog to kind of gives you like it's almost like wrestling a human like you're just get them down tiny dog. Like and then the tiny dog is moving all the way. It's like a rat. Yeah, yeah, it feels like with the tiny dog you should resort to diplomacy until the last moment that you have to actually murder the dog. I think with all the bigger dogs. Diplomacy is always first choice. Yeah, yeah, we like dogs. Yeah, I don't want to kill it on. But if it's between a dog and my son, dogs gotta go. Gotta go. You would know this if you love something. Okay. All right. If dog away I feel even I feel even for the for the bio shame. So I feel all right. Which animal would you most like to give a piggyback ride to and which animal would you most like to give you a piggyback ride? I think a slot where they ride you or you ride the ride, mate? Yeah, yeah. Good call. Okay. Yeah, they're not gonna shame you about how fast you're going. I mean, your lightning quick at that point, you know, there's no speed that they're not they're going to be new, you know, right. It's gonna take forever for the piggyback ride to get started. But if you had to warn you of a hazard impending hazard, she'd be like, trouble. He'd be like, whoo, there's so thing in front of perfect. Yeah. All right. So which back do you ride on? I gotta go. Polar Bear. Oh, yeah. Could you hold on? That's like a Viking comic strip right there. Like being on the back of a polar bear riding. That will be awesome. But also, it's gotta be like the view is like just kind of gorgeous, because polar bears only going to hang out in really cool terrain. Oh, just taught the penguins. Like you wish you're up here, don't you? Oh, like so why don't you stand there a little longer seal and we will eat you up just because you're on the the polar bears back does not mean you get to eat seals it can you can throw in anything? Well, you guys need to love something. I would only threaten a seal if it was coming between me and my child, obviously. Yeah. Again, you don't get it. All right. My man versus animal question for this round is what is the animal hardest to beat? In Wordle? The thought that came to my mind was was an owl yet because they're wise or wise. And it's such a lame answer. No, that's right, though. I said That's a lame answer. And then I said it should be the first thought that comes to your mind. I think we got time for one more. All right. Another question. Do animals speak telepathically? Do you think they judge us for using our limited language through our food? Whole very interesting question. Like if they talking about us right now. And we don't even really know it. And they're like, can you believe they use their food whole? No. And I'll tell you why. Because we do express a lot of language that is not verbal. And they know that just like that dog knew I was going to kill it. Right? That dog picked up on my energy. And just like animals go, yeah, they do like bark a lot. But you can also see the tails wagging and so forth. Just like we go, oh, you could tell the dogs happy because tails wagging or whatever. You know that kind of so we're back to dogs. If dogs suddenly could talk and had opposable thumbs. I thought we just did a dog talk. I just entered that. I said, we're back to dogs. If dogs suddenly could talk and had opposable thumbs, how long would they remain man's best friend? I would say forever. Yeah, I would say forever. I would just say that we're not it's not about the opposable thumbs or the inability to talk. They're just loyal species. They wouldn't even tell us that they could talk and then hide their thumbs. Probably. Yeah, they probably do that now. Just like they can talk telepathically. They just don't want us to know about it. I would actually notice if my daughter comes how do you because they could throw things or there probably be something that was a giveaway episode. Alright, that's gonna do it for the first of our Lightning Rounds. We will be back with more of our guests. Comedian rich are on edge a momento. All right. Finally, we have nipple chafing, which can actually enjoyable. That's too hard is it to say? Let's go back. I want a second chance. Second Chance. Here we go. Finally, we can develop something colder yet colder. But still, that's two words. Alright, let's try get we can do this. I'm definitely gonna say nipple. Okay, touch both nipples. aggressively, like you just Eskimo kissed Aunt Margaret, after uncle Frederick banked heads with Uncle Daniel, who was also in a three way. Let's go back to the guest. We are back for our next segment of this episode Jamie, Jamie and Adam, our guest comedian, rich Arano. Mitch is with us. And you now have the choice between the remaining categories. And those are romantic gestures. Or I do declare, I do declare this is where we make progressively bold declarative statements that all begin with the phrase, I do declare, ready? All right, would you like to start clockwise or counter clockwise on this round, counter clockwise, counter clockwise starting with me, I do declare that the best flavor of jello is wet sock. Ah, do declare that the best form of Joe is gentle with little pits of fruit in it. I'm still trying to imagine what sock Oh, terrible, musty. It's like one of the word again, I'm just trying to understand it's wet sock. It's like little pieces or we're getting like what you can do. You can do it with me or without because the thing about jello with wet sock is that it usually doesn't have the proper acidity like you need to make sure that you balance you know, the sweet and the salty. I was trying to go beat Bobby Flay. Yeah, no, no rich to you. I do declare that the only way to eat jello satisfy Lee is to make that noise is a slur. That is true. I declare this as an audio podcast. But that is a visual that I'm having a hard time removing. I just think I found our tick tock video. thing is we're gonna change the audio in the background so declare. When it hits tic tock do declare that there is no finer intersection in all of the world than 43rd. And first in New York City, ah, do declare that there is no final intersection in the world than the intersection between happiness and love. I do declare that the greatest intersection is that of x and y. Really? Oh, well played. Alright, that's good. Or rich. I do declare that Jamie's favorite intersection is seven blocks from where I live. impresa between there and Jamie's favorite intersection? What is the best restaurant between your house and Jamie's favorite intersection? I declare that baby Bose is my favorite restaurant. I do declare that after this podcast hits the airwaves, there is going to be a very creepy person in a basement somewhere putting a point at 43rd in first and drawing a circle seven blocks around that point and going door to door and finding rich. So I'm telling you now I do declare I feel responsible for your death. I do declare my math is so bad that they will not find you live in Pennsylvania. There is no 4030. I do declare we're still declaring Yeah, okay, I do declare that I will not be satisfied until the constitution of this United States. These were this. These United States destroyed us has 36 amendments. Rich. Sounds like a huge waste of time. That sounds like a huge waste. It's actually you get one amendment to the Constitution. What's it gonna be? The amendment to the Constitution is that you cannot talk about amendments to the Constitution with family members. Oh, yes, I do declare that we will wrap up this segment, and be back with more of our guests comedian, Rich urato. You think is the ultimate I do declare the Declaration of Independence. That was the big 110 commandments. That's a pretty big identifier. Oh, that's interesting, because it's the authority figure that declare that declares Thou shalt not that sounds like a declaration. It does when the 10 commandments were given to Moses. I was aware of that. Thank you. I'm sorry, the Bible. I didn't mean to get into your space and the 10 commandments. Was there a burning bush around there? I wouldn't know but maybe you do miss the Bible and the 10 commandments were presented. Yeah. 15 Did God use the I do declare that would have been amazing. What are what that sounds like in Yiddish. If they were speaking Hebrew like what it would sound like to say I do declare, because I'm pretty sure that you were all discussing to Moses. Right. You're just guessing you're speculating. Yeah. I don't think he was speaking English though. I do think it'd be great to hear Adam tried to do I do declare and yet no, I don't because I feel like doing the podcast. I just want to hear it. I wouldn't even know how to pronounce it. I think it's just fraught with peril. Speaking of declarations, I declare let's go back to his guests having some fun. All right. We are back for our next segment here with our guest comedian, rich Arata. vich Robinson fun having a little bit of a good time. Yeah, I do declare, if I do declare so myself. Let's not carry we have but one subject left. And that means it will be the focus of this lightning round. Yeah, the remaining topic is of course, romantic gestures. So would you like to say clockwise or counterclockwise rich? I'll go counterclockwise counterclockwise. All right counterclockwise, starting with that. All right. Rich public proposals. Tacky or romantic? Jackie, very tacky. Yeah, that's right. Would you openly mock someone if you saw a public proposal? I did a dance video while they were shooting their wedding pictures in Central Park. Yeah, I had come from doing a dance video had a ridiculous outfit on and I just jumped in front of them. So you know, you want to view I did sunset at the Grand Canyon. That was my proposal. Nice. Exactly. That's classy. That's beautiful. It's nature. It's everything. But you're in a public place at Central Park. If you can't handle a stranger or to becoming involved and maybe some weirdness then don't do it here. Did the bride leave the groom? The bride actually they were kind of happy the people that were the photographers were pissed. Yeah. Alright, so how many dates in do you need to be before an Eskimo kiss is appropriate. Eskimo kiss? Yes. The nose to nose kiss. Yeah, that's sort of like rubbing noses. Oh, day one. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty, pretty advanced. Okay, so follow up. Question is the term Eskimo kiss appropriate? Absolutely. Okay. I didn't know. Are we going to try to make this somehow cultural appropriation or something? No, I don't think we are. I think the Washington commander should change your team to the Washington Eskimos interesting. How about the Eskimo kisses? Washington Eskimo kisses. There's a Kentucky team that just renamed themselves the genome. I was like if that's not the saddest attempt at Kentucky people trying to look smart. I don't know what is right. Well, the problem is all their fans are rooting for the Jeremy's Washington Eskimo kisses Yeah, and I'm a lineman for the Washington Eskimo kisses. I'm just right before the snap just reaching out. Come on. Give me a little you see the weirdest shit you know they were homeless in football doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you if you get that close to an Eskimo kiss as a possibility. The other lineman is backing up my turn. Yeah. What is a romantic gesture that you offered and was spurned? Never happened to smooth seen the videos. I don't I have not been spurned on romantic. That's right. I was gonna say the guys like this don't get burned. Alright, Adam. Yeah. Last set of questions. Okay. More romantic gesture. You thought it was gesture? It is gesture. Okay, the romantic gesture. Which comedian do you think is likely the most romantic person in real life? Really good question. Thank you. Damn it. Yep, got it. I don't know why this came to mind. Yep. But go with it. Probably Louis black. Okay, I would agree with him. Yeah, I will cosign on that suggestion. One of the kindest, sweetest hearted people nice things and like no ego would just great. And I would think I bought her flowers because I wanted to because they told me because I had to. He deserved as a perfect segue into my question, because it's impression time as Donald Trump please try to convince me that grabbing someone downtown is romantic when we're talking to great three great guys if fantastic, guys, Jamie Jamie and bio shamer. You know, he is very inappropriate questions. And he's asking me, I was grabbing this guy, downtown. We were downtown. And we had a great rally fantastic right one of the best rallies into and they were saying is it inappropriate to grab somebody? And I said, Well, he was a big problem. So I grabbed the guy and he's a great guy really was but he was sleeping sleepy Joe. Before there was gonna fall. He looked like he was gonna say I fallen and I can't get up. And I said I grabbed him. So I was saving him from a big crash. A big boom. Just like the Academy here and really what I did is I did a good thing. A lot of people think it's a bad thing. It was He's completely appropriate, because it would have his head. And that would have been the end of sleepy Joe. So you're welcome. Big time hero. I feel like we're talking about different downtown's. No, we weren't. Here is my question that is like Adams a little bit of a twist on the of the notion of romantic. Do you think your child will ever have an ability to appreciate the love that a parent has for a child independently? Or will they have to have their own child to fully understand it? They will have to have their own chocolates. I understand. Yeah, I think that's right. Euro appreciation of my parents. I appreciated him. The minute, every stage of my son, I was like, oh my god, I owe them so many amends. Yeah, having that first child, you you appreciate both your parents and your spouse's parents at a level that you had never realized before. I look at it a different way. I want to make sure that my kids have kids. So they do feel indebted to me and take care of me in my old age. Like I need them to have kids so they recognize Oh, oh, wow. That's an interesting strategy. Yeah. Interesting move. All right. All right. Fair enough. Continued success, my friend. I hope that the videos continue to bring you attention. Yeah, yeah, there's some stuff that I cannot talk about but it is working. And if you want to follow me and find me go to Rich's funny one word, tick tock Instagram, they're all there which is funny, which is very funny. So continued success, hope parenting continues to treat you well. Hope I see you sooner than later. Thanks for this was fun. Thank you guys. Thanks, Rich everybody. All right, that was a fun episode with comedian rich oran of itch and I think that generally speaking, you should find some song and you should find some dance moves you should watch one of his videos and be more like that and your life will be significantly improved. So with that for Adam, Adam and Jamie figure I'd double up the atoms and singular eyes the Jamie's that'll do it for this episode. We'll catch you next time. Fires getting low. This episode of the podcast is over to go now. Back to the call you back for another podcast.