Dave Hill

This is comedy roundtable with Jamie Jamie and Adam. Hey, he always does something big like this is why we can't do shows without Jamie anymore. Well So Jamie Bendel is not with us tonight but that's okay. Well we will power through we've got Dave Hill with us he is a comedian a writer, a musician and actor a radio host He's author of parking the moose one Americans epic quest to uncover his incredible Canadian roots. Dave Hill doesn't live here anymore. And the book Tasteful Nudes that is hopefully a photo coffee table book, the reprint will be all photos. Oh, I got my say in it. I think that's right. That's how you originally wanted to go with the first one. Right? Yeah, it's less work. Yeah, you know, less less writing when it's helped pictures to my editor had to write it, unfortunately. Are they still gonna make it go tasteful? You know, once the cameras on me all bets are off. I figure so Dave tours internationally with his stand up comedy. You've seen him all across TV and on a lot of tremendous podcasts. None as amazing as the comedy roundtable. But great, nonetheless. This is the best. So all downhill from here. He's got his own radio show and podcast. He's in about a dozen bands at last count. My favorite thing. He's got a totally sweet apartment in New York. That's got an awesome party deck. everything right? It's sweet for party and yeah, it's gonna warm up soon, and I'm going to get out there. Just hit it party. So Dave, can you just procrastinate and slack off like the rest of us? I'm trying I think I do pretty much but there's one piece I have to ask you about? Because in your bio, sure, according to our sources and our sources being Dave Hill online.com The Dave Hill internet explosion you have ripped some guitar solos inside a Mexican prison. What did you do day to get sent to a Mexican prison? Well, I had done some stand up shows and at Sing Sing. Okay, the popular prison. Though to be fair, I rip some solos they're too sweet. One thing I learned this actually, when I was like 18 you can rip some guitar solos. Everyone's into that release all dudes on some level, even if they say they're not into guitar solos. So when I went to sing, sing, I rip some solos. And then they were like, okay, cool. Well listen to what he has to say now. Anyway, so I had done SingSing a couple times. And then my friend Bob Coogan is a priest from Brooklyn. And he wound up being the chaplain in a prison in salt to Mexico. It's like Northern Mexico town. And there there was an article in The New York Times magazine where like about him and like the cartel down there, like murdered the warden of the prison. They were coming for the priest. No, that was the whole thing. This article, you can look it up. Look it up under Robert Coogan. Okay. So I haven't talked to Bob since college. He's he wasn't a student. He was like a little bit older. The whole article was about how the cartel and taken over the prison but he was still the chaplain and going in, in and out. So it was like, pretty intense situation. So I was like, Well, I had an amazing time at Sing Sing. This sounds even more amazing. So I was like, you know, can I come and visit you? And check out the prison because I figured like if the New York Times reporter went in and out and rode with live to tell about it, I probably Alright, so I went down there and I didn't I don't speak Spanish. You know, I can like order a beer. That's about it. So my friend Bob is like, you know, you you better play guitar then because you have to win these guys over. So I played a bunch of guitar. I didn't even bring any guitar. But it turns out like, Mexican prisons are lousy with guitars, everywhere. Wow, there's Yeah, like so. I just grabbed one off the ground. But just just started ripping. Nice. Yeah. So the interesting to to Jamie's, you read that. And you assumed he was in there for him doing time? It's a lot like Johnny Cash at Fulton prison. You know, he was there as a performer at both sing, sing and at this place. Yeah. But you know, it does give you street cred mad street cred. The first time I went to sing, sing, you know, as gathered on my things to leave. And the corrections officer was like, Do you have everything? And I was like, Yeah, I think so. You know, don't worry about it if I let it and he's like, no, no, I'm not being like polite. He's like, anything that's left behind will be somehow fashioned into a weapon. No, here's like, I'm telling you get all your shares. Yeah, yeah, you can't like leave anything behind. Otherwise it'd be a shame, right? 630 So before we get into the meat of the show, I will just play one quick game of word association. So I'm going to pick two random words and you're going to just tell me whatever conjures up in your mind. Okay, so we'll go with which and taint and I you know, I can't help but think of Halloween and my friend and Dave who of course the van which taint of course But no. My friend and Dave whose real name is Dave, but he plays guitar solos and called himself in Dave, but he he called What did he say? He had some sort of Tane problem. Oh, can't remember. It's like you don't want to have. I've known a few people who have had taint issues like medical. Do you know Mike watt from the Minutemen and firehose, yeah, because he did years ago, like 20 years ago, I was in a band called coverting. And we were touring with him. And he had just gotten out of the hospital, he had an abscess of the premium, which is to say, a hole in his tank. Oh, yeah. So that's it, it was even more disgusting than it sounds. Now you see, you know, a number of people with tank issues. How does that come up in conversation? It's my first it's like, you know, how, what to do for bands to like, cause your taint? Yeah, just conversation starters. Alright, so the concept of the show is fairly simple. We're going to just give you three categories. Tonight's categories are music to my ears, if I had a clone, and blast from the past. Hmm. So for our first segment here, which of those three do you want to start with? Let's go with music to my ears. Music to my ears. Alright, so would you like to go clockwise or counterclockwise? Counterclockwise? Of course. Excellent. Course. So counterclockwise starting with Adam, your comic, your comic genius has a lot of music involved in it? My question is, if you could be madly successful in one, but couldn't do the other at all. The genie gives you a power to be the absolute, you know, highest level in your world of comic or of musician, but you can't do the other one at all. What do you do between comedy and music? Yeah. Hmm. Maybe I would give up music only because, well, I don't it's that's really hard. Okay. Because my reason for giving a music would be then you wouldn't have to deal with bandmates big upside. It's easier to play music than it is to do comedy touring with comedy. Like, if you have like, doing a full show at night, you're kind of for me anyway, my whole day is kind of ruined, because I'm like, oh, man, I got to talk for an hour later. Right? But if you're just like playing guitar and singing and stuff, I mean, that's, you have to put the energy into it. But it's like, not as hard. Okay, I think so. Follow up question. If you had to give it the music, but she could get it back. But then you'd have a taint problem. Would you be willing to do that for the music? Oh, so I can still do comedy, but then do music but I have attained problem. Right? Yeah, I'd probably agree to that. Okay. I mean, I've always got something going on some sort of, you know, that's what anyone with a party deck says we're all a little sick. Yeah, you gotta Yeah, we all got something going on. I can handle a little team tissue. Yeah. It mean awesome musician. Sure. Alright, so what instrument Could someone play that would make you instantly judge them in a negative way? in a negative way? Ooh, maybe a seven string guitar? I don't know of any good music. That's Do you know what I'm talking about? Like corn plays them and yeah, yeah, I've just can't think of any Well, I take it back. I can think of some bands that I like that do that play. But generally, when there's too many strings on an instrument, it's it's usually things are heading in a bad direction. Like go seven strings, just one nothing. I think so you can go like so it's lower like to you know, okay, a heavier but I think that's that's like, if you're really playing heavy music. You don't need to cheat by having another lowest Black Sabbath. They didn't have extremes, and they played pretty hard music worked out for them. Yeah, yeah. Alright, so that's gonna do it. For our first segment, we will be back with more of the comedy round table with Dave Hill in just a moment do you think life would be better if wherever you went whatever you're doing, you could just have a guitar with you and the ability to just shred at any moment. Pause that would be an absolute dream of mine. Any instrument really. But the guitar is incredible. I mean, the guitar would work if you could shred it wouldn't necessarily be as cool if you started playing, you know, Kumbaya. Honestly, I'll take either I am so envious of those that can play instruments. Can you play the tambourine? Yeah, but that's not. Is it? I mean, I don't know the tambourine association would say it is. I don't think it is. I think the tambourines kind of what they give the girls the pretty girls to go up on the tambourine. Yeah. If I offended you, he didn't offend me, because I'm not a pretty girl. However, you can play tambourine in college. Well, that was how they got me up on stage. So if if you had a saxophone Yeah, saxophone oh my god Crazy Sexy. Yeah. At a party. Yeah. Just changed the vibe of the party. Yeah, immediately. Yeah. You and you're definitely become four steps more attractive, I think to the opposite sex. Exactly. But I think that doesn't happen with something Like the pan flute? Oh no, I think it does. If you start playing the pan flute at a party does your pair just immediately start growing long? Yes. And just flowing lock? Yes. It's kind of like the clarinet. It's not like the clarinet. No, if you get the clarinet you also get long. I don't think the clarinet has ever been associated with cool Kenny G. Hello. Oh, yes. Kind of a big deal. Very cool. Yeah. Long, luscious locks. Oh, I was thinking, know that he's pulling. He probably is pulling a lot of tail. But if he was at the same party with Zamfira I think the unfair ones that could you imagine just like a battle back and forth? That'll be incredible. How would that sound you want to do pan flute or clarinet? I don't want to do either, because I don't know that I do it justice. Because as we said at the beginning, I have no musical talent whatsoever. Instead of pretty damn good pamphlet. You didn't who has great musical talent does that. I guess we should go back. And we're back. That's not Jamie. Hernan, you heard? That's not Jamie Bendele. It's Adam Hague taking over the bumper. That's right. I've taken over the inmates have taken over the asylum. Actually, it's just Bendel's not here tonight. So we're gonna continue on with round two of our lightning round questions. You didn't get to choose between blast from the past? Or if I had a clone. Let's do if I had a clone. You must stick with counterclockwise. Let's mix it up and go clockwise. It was It wasn't ready for Yeah, no, I'm a man without limits. There we go. Okay. So clockwise. We start with that? Yeah, we do. So then, if you had a clone and these clones is exactly. So it's essentially exactly you, as all your prior experiences, has everything. It's you and you guys sat down? What do you think you talk about? Huh? Where did I go wrong? Or where did you? Where did you go around? Yes. You gotta blame the clone. I'm blaming the clone. He's also blaming you, I guess, blaming everyone but myself. Give me a real quick. Well, what I talk about with my clone. I don't know what I would have. I don't know, I would already know all the answers. Probably. It's somewhat like having a conversation with yourself. I would ask him how is Tantus doing? I guess? Yeah, of course. That's the second question in right. Yeah. Hi, how are you? How was your team? What bands do you listen to? How's your team? That's not the kind of question that as he thought about it, there was a possibility that he was just going to disintegrate right there. It was just going to he's going to implode with that question. Exactly. Alright, so in what ways would a clone of yourself help you get one step closer to world domination? Oh, that would well, I would have the clone do? Do stuff. I don't know. Because there's never enough hours in the day that I'd have them just do half the stuff. And then I'd watch more of my programs. Not more stuff. You're gonna take half? Yeah, he could do half the stuff and and then I could like, Yeah, more time to play with my dog. What if you clone the dog with a clone of your dog? Would you feel as endeared to a clone of your dog? You've gone way too far. Now? I think I would because I love my dog. So if it was just like, I've actually met my one of my dog siblings, and I was pretty thrilled by it. So yeah, I would be. I mean, I wouldn't want to clone like, you know, she's gone. And then like, someone's like, Here you go. Here's a clone. Right, right. I guess I'd be into that too. I love her so much. I would take her in any form at all times. What do you think she's named you? Randy? Probably Probably Randy. Randy. Randy, biblical Randy, Todd's friend, right, Rebekah. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. I just always think that name is like he just sounds like a good you know, shows up with like a six pack the Corps light. Yeah. You know, Randy's cool. Not too uptight. No, yeah, he just, you know, it's got his issues, but you know, sure, but fun to party with can stay mad at him. So with your clone, and you guys were at the same party, and there's a short coutry tray with cheese and meats. Which one are you taking? And you make your clone? The other side? You get either cheese or the meat? Where do you go? I would eat the cheese. Yeah, because I stopped eating a charcuterie few years ago. So oh, so no meats at all i poultry and fish, but I stopped eating I guess mammals. Okay, I guess would be the arbitrary line that I drew. I bet it's totally like a five year olds approach to like, basically, I got I got my dog and I was out to dinner at this like restaurant. I was like, oh, wait a minute, the cows and pigs are all like Lucy. I can't eat them anymore. So it was truly like a childish rationale. But whatever. I mean, there's a million good reasons not to what you love Lucy. And so you probably had personalities too, and you don't eat them? Yeah, basically, I just just stopped eating sentient beings, I guess. But it's sort of a arbitrary line to draw. Yeah. And so a follow up to Adams question there. You're at that same party. There's a beautiful woman there and she's talking to you and your clone, how do you distinguish yourself from your clone to get her attention away from the clone? I just start saying he's a clone. He's a clone and pointed him and then if he is a clone, then that would probably get him anxious and embarrassing. Often Yeah, yeah, you'd be off this game. If he's anything like me. So clones do have good games. Or maybe he'd say like, oh, no, he's the clone. Yeah, that's exactly the game that you. Yeah, he would turn the tables pretty soon. That lady's not interested at all at these two guys pointing at each other saying Yeah. But she probably think we were like some low rent version of like the Property Brothers or something. Yeah, she's like, they're just twins. I don't know what the deal is. Yeah, for sure. Be very interested in then it would get really awkward because she's looking for oh, like a threesome. Kelowna? tois. Clone, I definitely wouldn't have a threesome with Mike clone. That's freaky. But you know what he'd like? I guess. Yeah. Well, if he's anything like me, just any friction in any form is enough. No, not really. No major demands. Easy, very easy to play. It's just thrilled that anything's happening at all. I'm just happy to be here. Yeah. So we spoke earlier about how many different hats you wear. So if you had a different clone for each of the types of things that you do stand up comedy writing, acting music, and which of those things that you do? It's kind of like Adams question earlier. But which of those things that you do? Would you want to keep for yourself letting the clones do all the other stuff? I don't know. The clunk could have at all really. You just want to watch your shows. I just honestly, I like all this stuff that I get up to but I really like hanging out with my dog and rolling girlfriend and eating cheese and watching movies. Perfect. I'll just do that and talk a little bit about Lucy so far. What kind of dog is Lucy? She's like a boxer Pitbull. Probably like some hound and stuff. So she's pretty good mix. Yeah, yeah, she's got a lot going on. And how did you meet a sibling of hers given that she's such a mix? Because she's from this my friend Holly's rescue which is called waggy tail rescue. The way I found Lucy is used to be on Petfinder Yeah, that you I think maybe you can still do it. But I haven't gone on Petfinder a while but I I used to just go on there late at night. And once I exhausted all the dark corners of the internet. And I would go on pet finder and just plug in breed. Like you go. I was like, Oh, I wonder what a Rottweiler. Doxon looks like right. And then they show you all the mixes of that thing. So I was trying to like Frankenstein like the dullest dog. Yeah, I literally put in I put in boxer Pitbull, and these three dogs came up that we're all siblings, and I saw as my friend's rescue I was like, holy shit. I saw these dogs that you have. So we haven't you know, we got her. She's awesome. And my girlfriend was at the in Washington Square at the dog run sake, you got to come over here. She saw this dog that she thought was Lucy like going up some little kids. So she's like Lucy, get over here. And then she's like, wait a minute, Lucy's over here like so. Who's this dog? Hello, your dog clown looked exactly like Lucy. So she found the owner and was like, Is this dog from waggy tail like, and like it turned out? It was the brother. That's amazing. That is amazing. Yeah, it's Petfinder. Like the Tinder for perspective. It is head on her she already is. Yeah. And that's how I knew like I that something was going on. Like because I realized at some point, I was like spending more time looking at dogs. Then other usual late night. Internet thing no girl has just done yeah, it's just like, I'm looking at dogs and guitars I don't really look at when I used to look at price. So that's gonna wrap up segment two with our guest, Dave Hill. We'll be back with our final segment in just a moment. So we've learned that Dave has a dog named Lucy. Oh, yeah. And Lucy is a pitbull boxer mix. Yeah, sounds like a if nothing else, a very muscular dog. I'm fascinated with this idea of pet finder, that there are people literally just Frankl, dogs. What Frankenstein dogs. That's great that I can see that as a form of entertainment. But I'm thinking about the people who are just essentially shopping for dogs and swiping right and go on. Nope, nope, nope, nope. And I'm just wondering, is there like a sound at the pound that the dog hears was like you've been rejected? I think it's a lot like Tinder. It's a lot like If you get rejected all the time, you don't even know the sender. You don't know that someone left now there's just no activity. Wouldn't it be awful if that's if you just kept any notifications? But I mean, that just sits there like, Yeah, I'm kind of ugly. I get it. Not a lot of people are to me. My spouse will do that though. She'll just go through Petfinder and be like, Oh, look at this one. Look at this one. We got to get this one. And you know, she loves her dogs. And she will be like, let's get this one. Let's get this one. And thank God, they don't ship because you just oh my God, so many dogs. If it was like one click, like Amazon, we would be loaded with dogs. You'd be like, Yeah, I want this one. And I want that one. Or the idea of drunk pet adopting would be Wait. What did I do so cute. Dog, you know? He's got a brother. I'm gonna get both it. We just got four dogs. Anyway, let's talk to Lucy somewhere. Well, I mean, not Lucy. I guess. We talked to Lucy. If we could if she'd come out. I don't know. I don't think we'll see fighters. Alright, back to the guest. And we're back with Dave Hill and the comedy roundtable sands spindle. But we're having some fun we're getting we learned all about Lucy. We learned all about the clones. We've talked about some music in the past. But now we're down to our last category, which is blast from the past. We're going to keep it counterclockwise or go ahead and go clockwise, or just in a straight line this time. Let's add in. What's the straight line? Let's try it on a try. Okay, start with you will start with me. Yeah, I think we should and then we'll go there. So do you have any brothers or sisters? Any siblings? Yeah, I have a brother and three sisters. Okay, so I'm going to take you in two of your siblings in this scenario. Mm hmm. So I recently found out that Kaiser Ville, Haim, Tsar Nicholas and King George Sure, they're all grandkids of Queen Victoria. Oh, yeah. Which is amazing to me. And there's pictures of them growing up together, playing together, like as little kids. Wow, they were cousins. And they were all playing together as little kids. So and it's interesting one goes on to be leaving Germany, they all had huge roles in World War One, right? But in your siblings, who would be the Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany? Who would be the Tsar Nicholas of Russia? And who would be the King George? Mm hmm. Probably anyone but me would be though, well, probably probably my brother wouldn't be the Kaiser. Okay. Probably my little sister, Katie would be the Tsar. And my oldest sister, Miriam would probably be the King George George. Is the young though that they were all good. That's yeah. What are the chances? I mean, it's just it shows you how like local Hello. The power in Europe at that time was basically two families, your sister that you didn't name and she gonna feel left out. Those are the three siblings that got straight A's and my sister Libby and I got more like in the B plus range. So okay, go we, you know, didn't make national art honor society for at first and I did eventually we both did. Let me be clear. Yeah, I'm just saying, you know, this podcast right? Or not a bunch of my months, they tried to keep me out. They tried to keep me out. But eventually they had to let me in. So believe it or not, we actually are interviewing your 10 year old self after this episode. Oh, wow. What will he tell us about you today that he is proud of and what will make him roll his eyes? I guess probably like rolling his eyes that I ended up not being an NHL hockey player. Only 10 year old me would be disappointed. That was kind of the plan at 10. Yeah, I think so. I think like I had delusions of that. Like when I was like 1011 12. And then I started playing guitar when I was 13. And I was like, I still played hockey. But once I started playing guitar like I didn't I just kind of like didn't have that much interest in other things as much. We're gonna put a link to your your YouTube comedy special in here. It's incredible. It's hilarious. My wife I'm rolling last night watching it. Thank you. But what's going on with the ceilings in that room and felt like the room in the comedy in the YouTube? Like the ceilings were really low? Yeah, they're pretty low at where? That was union hall in Brooklyn. Yeah, I think the ceilings are pretty low. Closer to the ceiling, then the rest. I don't think there's a lot of room. It's really Dave is seven feet tall. I'm very tall. Well, that's an interesting question. Because I was six feet tall for a very long time. Yeah. And though I just went to the doctor, and they this is I hate to I can't even say it out loud. So upsetting to me. Because I always had it in my head that six feet is like that's kind of the it's the perfect height. Right? It kind of is even though six two would be kind of better. But I went to the doctor for the first time in like 15 years like they were Yeah, they were like your height is 511 I'm like, No, it's not. It's six feet. They're like no, it's 511 I was like that's not right. They're like, well, when you as you start to get older, everyone starts to shrink. So your use started shrinking. I'm actually experiencing the exact same thing. I've always been six feet. And I'm now 511. And it is actually I've got kids that are growing and getting taller than me, and I'm exacerbating that process by shrinking to there. There. So are your kids even getting taller? Are you just getting smaller? I don't know. It's a good question. So I got home and I was I measured myself. Sure. I was like, Well, I was probably not standing up straight. I'm gonna stand up so straight. I'm probably six one Pro. And I did. I did it like three times. And I was like, I'm definitely 511 It's a bummer. But I had I was talking to Steve Agee the other day, and he was saying the same thing. But he's like, six, seven. So now he's like, six, six, or whatever. So he's almost becoming normal is slowly is eventually going to be six feet tall. But at least like if you were six, seven, you were always kind of the freak in the room for being way too tall. Right? Yeah. Now really tall guy right now he's at least coming down to like, doesn't have to duck through doorways anymore. Life is getting Yeah. Yeah, totally. But it just happens. I guess. You know, that is the cruelty of growing older. That's the level I've never heard. I don't want to hear it from someone who's six, seven, and like, oh my god, you won't believe it. I'm now only six, six. You go to hell six, six. I've seen those things that people kind of exercise in where they hang upside down with the clips. They're doing that to keep the height. I think it's good. Like, I think you can do stuff like that, like yoga and stuff. I read Mike D from the Beastie Boys claims he started doing yoga and was two inches taller as a result. So yep, maybe a yoga mat. Or maybe I'll join the Beastie Boys. Yeah, so we're gonna wrap it up a one more question. Is there anyone from your past that you would like to have another shot at their first impression of you? Hmm. Not really. Like there's definitely people I'd like another shot at the last impression I give them. But no first impressions. Really. I don't think anyone that I made a bad first impression and eventually won them over. Right? That's just the DH charm. Right there. That's how you bring it. I don't mind making a bad impression. First impression, but I guess there's there's definitely a handful of people. I would like another shot at the last impression I gave them. Well, we love the first impression in the last impression of you. Hopefully it's not the last impression the first time across and great. Yeah, we'll come across each other again. We really appreciate you taking the time. I think I'm going to be down there in Atlanta. Oh, all right. Let's see. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Well, so the the special that you were talking about Adam is called the pride of Cleveland. It is available on the YouTube channel of 800 pound gorilla records. It is absolutely amazing. And you will find out very quickly how good of a musician Dave actually is crazy rips and how much he hates bandmates fairly quickly. Yes, so de we really appreciate you taking time to spend with us where people find you on social media. Thanks for having me. i I'm on Instagram and Tik Tok because I'm a teen. Your tic TOCs have been blowing up I've been seeing like recently they go they go in phases. They have been but the Tick Tock is a cruel mistress because like, you'll do it and then all of a sudden, they'll be like, get all these views. Like I have a few that have over a million views. Yeah. And then you're like, Okay, I'm, I guess I'm a tick tock sensation. Yep. And then you post something that and then they'll get like some, you know, like 4000 views, which, you know, would have been great before. Right? I would say, but I think there's just like some guy in an office like hitting buttons, like, let's give Dave delusions of grandeur. Granted that he's gonna like, this is gonna really turn his career. And then they're like, No, you garbage garbage. Tick tock millionaire. You're garbage. You're garbage. That's I literally, I ran into a guy a guy stopped me on the street today, this morning as I walk in Lucy. And he was like, Whoa, I love your tick tock. And I was like, they and so of course, I stopped in my tracks and like, really? What else do you like about me? Um, I was talking to the guy and he's like, he's like, Oh, it must be cool. Having that passive income. I'm like, What? No, what are you talking about? I don't make any money. I don't I don't understand. I was complaining about this all the time. Like, there was some article I read on the Guardian recently where they talked to some 30 year old woman she's like, has like 40 50,000 Instagram, which I have. And I have like 40 something, whatever. And then just Yeah, Has 90,000 Tik Tok followers and they're like, Oh, she makes her living as an influencer. And I'm like, I have both of those things that don't make any money. And I love those passive income like, you know that I actually have to make those. Yeah, actually make the videos but yeah, sure. All right, Dave. Thanks very much. We appreciate it. Thank you guys. Yeah, Dave. Lots of fun to catch up with you when you hit a festival. Yeah, love the YouTube again, the links down below, listeners enjoy. And it's been Dave. It's great. Cool. Thank you so much. Thanks, Dave.