Comedy Roundtable

William Krolowitz (Recorded Live at the Punchline Comedy Club)

May 10, 2022 Comedy Roundtable Season 6 Episode 64
Comedy Roundtable
William Krolowitz (Recorded Live at the Punchline Comedy Club)
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Show Notes Transcript

Comedian William Krolowitz took a break from performing in the World Series of Comedy to sit down at the Comedy Roundtable and answer questions from categories Do You Even Lift Bro?, Hands Where I Can See 'Em and Strengths and Weaknesses. 

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Ladies and gentlemen, comedy roundtable. These are great questions. Yes, good comedian a math question. Really good question. Thank you. This is so much fun you guys. That is a good question. And that lightning round was so fun. That's a really good question. comedy fans con versation enthusiast it is a brand new episode of the comedy round table pull up a chair settle in. We have a great conversation for you this episode. Let's get this party started. The clatter you hear in the background is another live episode being recorded here at the landmark diner conveniently located adjacent to the punch line comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia. Jamie Bendel Jamie Hernan, Adam perfect. That was really great. I can't say never get tired of that. I never do either. I would hate for that to be my last name. Yeah. Yeah, no, I want I want you to have that you deserve I can't believe everyone in the landmark is on their feet when they hear you say that. They love it. Alright, our guest is a media and also contestant in the World Series of comedy which is occurring as these episodes are being recorded here adjacent to the punch line comedy Club. This is the portion with will right where you go. Welcome to the show. William Thank you always remember Bill never built. Never ever been about that everybody in the bill. Bill sounds like you got some Bill issues I do. You gotta build. With Bill, there is a heaviness around. It's wobbling, right? This is the portion where we read the bio. Okay, and everybody's a little uncomfortable because sometimes the BIOS don't read as well as we think we do when we write them. Okay. Yours is briefer than most to the point. Okay. You're a 10 year Army veteran father of two grandfather of three born in Brooklyn, raised in New Orleans, living in Milwaukee for the past 25 years. He is a five time participant in the World Series of comedy finalist in the Big Easy laugh off and the carnival comedy challenge. Alright, so what's the what's the bill issue? I want to know before we go too much further. What else? My inlaws used to call me Bill. And they're, you know, Sicilians from Jersey, how did they used to because they are no longer in loss. Right? We're no longer okay. Or did you tell them? They're no longer around? Okay, so I don't know nothing. Yeah, you don't? I don't know. All right. So marry their daughter. I've married their daughter. Okay. They said, This is my boyfriend, William. And they said, Bill, welcome to the family. You go. And it was bad. It was really I think it was Billy Billy. Which total disrespect. Well, you can come on. You can't Billy and a William is a great name. William. Oh, it's a great name. Yeah, fine. Yeah. It seems like it's a deliberate poke. Yeah, Billy, is he? Oh, you are dev emasculating. We'll have the merch. Yeah, if you're a James. Billy, you're a Stevie when they first called you, Bill. Did they say welcome Bill? Or do they say yeah. All right, Bill. Well, they didn't really welcome me. Because we kind of like I met her in Georgia. We were stationed together at Fort Stewart, Georgia, and we just got married. We just like let's get married. And I had not met her family and she had not met my family's. Do you feel like the marriage broke up? Yeah, I think we got off. Well, what happened was we were we were dating Matt. They hadn't met families. We hadn't met families. We were dating. And we were having a great time. And I got promoted to sergeant. Yep. And then so they call you in the office and say y'all can't date anymore, because you're a noncommissioned officer now, and that's called fraternization. It's against the Army Regulation. So we're like, hey, screw that. Why don't we just get married? What a great reason to enter into the sacred ceremony. Alright, I want to interject. I don't want to go too much further. Okay. Do you promoted again after that? Nope. Okay. So why is your nickname not Sarge? Could have been I would have stuck with Sarge, I would write well, sorry, just kind of derogatory as well, because of Sarge is a big fish or whatever that swims around. They would always correct you in the military sergeant. It's not so much. Okay. Listen, I feel as though I've missed that. Like, I just I gave you an inadvertent bill. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. zard was an anniversary bill. Anyhow, all these movies So where the sergeant is called Sarge, those are the adviser not correcting that. Yeah, I mean, that's not how it is in the military though. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, like, that's very casual. I mean, if it's a friend of yours and you're both sergeants maybe you can get away with that but can Sarge each other? Yeah, you can start each other just not in front of the younger troops. You know? Cuz you don't want them doing that. You can't use our can. I don't want it. Yeah, yeah, that's our word. That's our word. Yeah, you get it. You can serve me. Cannot Sarge me? No snow. No, you don't say sir. I work for a living. It's sorry, Sergeant, sir is an officer. So you say sir to like? You can't even serve. You can't serve a sergeant. So now? No, you know you can't serve us origin because they will tell you. I'm not a sir. I work for a living. Mission officer, right. Yeah. So this is why Bendel's military podcast is not going to be successful. People are becoming so educated about a subject matter that they may not have known anything about. But you did. I appreciate the fact that you too are sitting here. New. Oh, yes. We always do. To Adam, I just whispered to him. I said, watch this. He's gonna pull out sir. Just please keep calling. Well, so listen, Mr. kraler. What's Yes. Okay. Very, except for the last unfortunately, the marriage didn't survive. No, it did not. And two children later though, right. And so I just have to tell you when I first met them, you see the children my ex wife know the, the so like, my ex wife's maiden name was Williams. Okay. Second, now we get it. We're not gonna go William Williams. Write their names that Williams. Adopted. Her name was not well. Okay, hold on. Listen, we have gotten this story. 100% backwards. We are wrapped around a tree, the adopted child of your misnaming in law, right. The Williams, right. Well, she's Williams. Mr. Williams. Yeah, but there's Spinelli there. Listen, Sicilian. Okay. And then how brother was upset we didn't get married in church. You know? Like so like the in the eyes of God. My sister's a horror this shit. Yeah. All right. So we're going to give you three subjects from which we will ask questions. Okay. Choose them one at a time. These are your choices. Do you even lift bro? I used to know that's hands where I can see him hands where I could see him and strengths and weaknesses, strengths and weaknesses. Which one do you want? Oh, do you even lift bro hands where I could see him? strengths or weaknesses? I'll go with strengths and weaknesses, strengths or weaknesses? Would you like to go clockwise or counterclockwise? Counterclockwise counterclockwise? Starting with that? If you had to go to war with a country in Europe, which country do you think is the strongest? Which country do you think is the weakest? I'd have to say for instance, a weakest, okay. And strongest if you're gonna go you're gonna go with Israel. Israel, pretty tough as best soldiers in the world. Okay, Israeli and French. Okay. Jamie, what is an area where most people would think you are strong, but you're actually weak. And vice versa? Probably with relationships. They think you're strong, but you're weak. I'm very weak. Okay, in a relationship with a woman. It's terrible. It's terrible. Which is why I'm choosing not to me relationship right now. Good, because I just kind of, I need to be a little more alpha in a relationship. And it seems like I don't know. I got older sisters. I was grown up a certain way to treat them respectfully. Yeah. And that doesn't seem to work out very well. Okay. What's the situation where you are perceived weak, but you're actually very strong. Oh, I don't know if I I don't know if anybody perceives me as weak. I'm sure that there has to be areas that probably but I'm humility. Yeah. Hi. So my turn strengths or weaknesses. Okay. All right. You have three grandchildren? Yep. boys or girls, two girls and one boy, two girls and one boy, oldest is a youngest is four. Okay. What do you think if they have an attribute that you would like for them to be their strongest? What would it be? And if you had a weakness for them to exhibit, which would be to their credit, what would it be? Well, the younger ones you still feel and things out but like my eight year old granddaughter. She's very intelligent, beautiful little girl. And I think the thing about about her is, is that she's empathetic to others. And she just got a nice little attitude. I mean, like, you know, I think that's the good thing about her. But as far as the weakness goes like she's in the counselor's office, almost every day talking about her eight year old problems, because a lot of drama with eight year old girls, there is indeed there is and like, there's a best friend and everybody wants to be friends with their best friend and drives him crazy. And then when her friend was out of school, everybody got along so well, it's like, you're eight, right? You didn't learn? Right? Yeah, I think they're awesome. My son is a great bet. Much better father than I was much more patient than I was. I was a single parent, and I raised them. Yeah, in the army. I took him to Germany with me. And then I hooked up with a German girl who had four kids. Okay, she had four kids, he had four. So we have six kids between us to the Brady Bunch. All right, so that'll wrap it up for this first segment here with comedy Roundtable. We'll be back with more in just a moment. In the first segment, things kept getting darker and darker and couldn't get darker in segment to stick around. It's about to get darker. I kind of feel like it is. I feel like will is not uncovered. No, there's more to come. I tell you what this will he's a funny guy. There's a darkness. No, I find him to be very happy. Oh, totally super happy. Which is why each new revelation and disclosure comes as a surprise to me. That's a good point. Because I don't feel like there's anything I know not everybody's looking at him. If you do look them up, I would encourage you to do that. There's nothing about the way he presents that will cause you to believe that he is been so tested in his personal life. It's a good point. It's a example of you get through. Let's not keep everyone away. And let's see how dark he can get. It's not getting dark. It's lightness. Yeah. Come into the light. Let's go back to the guests. All right, it is a treat to get to talk to you this episode, we have our second round of questions with our guests on the comedy roundtable. You're at the punch line comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia World Series, a comedy being recorded. So we're taking the opportunity to speak to some of the contestants, you're the host of a podcast yourself called off the rails? Yep. TM. Yep. Because you have two additional hosts Tom and Molly and Molly. It's good that you give them recognition. You have to We try not to give individual name recognition, mostly because two of us share the same name. Who's the producer of this? Okay. Do you ever? No, no, no, never, ever. We give Molly a hardtop See, we could not do the show without her. But we're constantly threatening to replace her when something goes wrong. And I don't know that's about at all. That seems really strange. So you're telling me that you take the person who edits and you you trash them? And it was like, hey, if something goes wrong, I'll ask the guest. Do you know anyone? Do you have a short list? Yeah. And we couldn't do it without and in the middle of the podcast. Sometimes you insinuate that you're gonna fire that person? Absolutely. We wouldn't know anything about that. Alright, Bill, so we want you got you got two categories left or right. You got hands where I can see him. And do you even lift bro. I'm gonna go in hands where I can see him hands where I can see him. All right hands where I can see him starting with Adam. If you were a getaway driver, what do you think the most in a bank robbery? What do you think the most important skill of a getaway driver is? Make sure that the car is ready to go. Your doors are unlocked. And yeah, car prep are really Yeah, it's not about knowing the streets. It's not about the of its car prep. Its proper tire pressure and all the change. You want to get like some you know, you know, my brother had a hard time for armed robbery. It wasn't a bank. Cool. He did a hard time down in Louisiana penitentiary and Golden State Penitentiary. Okay. So, he had served time he had served turns out, he got out and now he's deceased. Okay. Do you want to hear that story? Yeah, well, you're in it now. So Mike look, ever since he was young, I mean, he was in reformed schools before he's old enough to go to jail or younger, older by four years or years older. Okay. So like he was just in trouble all the time. And like, he did six months for burglary. And then he did two and a half years for armed robbery. And then he got a 50 year sentence because in Louisiana you known as a three times. Yeah. 50 years so he ended up doing 27 years. He didn't get parole, but he had good time and he became like a super Christian. Before he got locked up the last time he had been and an IV drug user and he ended up with hepatitis. And then when he got out, he started helping other convicts find jobs, worked with his church, he got married. I mean, it turned around that faith was powerful. That's great. And then he got liver cancer as a result of having the appetite for Titus and he died. It's it's eight years the day before my granddaughter was born. What was his biggest take on any of his crimes? Well, he lied and said he didn't do it. Well, how much money was involved? It wasn't. It was a convenient score. And I don't think it was Ocean's 11. It was maybe something like like, less than 200. And then him in this I think they were one dope. So they beat this, this old man that owned this store, and they shot him in the lake. No. Okay. And they should have gotten a murder rap because he Oh, man died. Oh, no, it was a Christian scientists. And he denied medical treatment, which kept them out of the electric chair. They should have your PR they were really like, the arc on on love for your brother was like going up like this. And then it just took a turn. greatest guy? No, no. The post prison brother pretty good guy. Right? Yeah, exactly. It's exactly how I feel. That's exactly how I felt. Because what do you put my mother throw? Yeah. And her spending every dime to try to keep him out? Because she believed him. Right. And he said he didn't do he lied to her. Right. He lied to her. Yeah. And that I'll never forgive that. Right. So I'm glad he turned his life around. And I'm glad he got out and became a better person. But like, look, good stories. Not. I was not a faint. Well, I'll tell you. I'll tell you what happened. I was in the army. And I came home. And my mom said to me, your brother went to Florida. I think he's got a gun in his house. I want you to break into his house and see if you can find it. Why? Why are you getting me involved in this? The problem with that is that when she's looking to which kid would be best at to breaking into his home, it would be him it would be him, right? It's the kids like on the floor couldn't get your brother. Here's the problem. I need you to go to prison with your brother. Right? After, you know, this is the thing I broke in. And I couldn't find it. And when that was the gun used to convict Oh, no. She said, if you had found that he wouldn't be in jail right now. And I'm like, right. I mean, like, is that the way you think? I mean, really nothing to do with it. I'm here to tell you. Well, it wasn't your fault. Well, I knew that but that was my mom. It's not your fault. You know what I said to her, which I probably shouldn't have. But if you would have been a better mother. You probably really heard it. Back. Wow. Come on. Back. Yeah, you damn right. She's like, have you gotten that gun? No, Mom, if you've been a better mom, let me tell you. So. My aunt raised me. All right after so no, she raised me since I'm four. So my two brothers, one of them died of a drug overdose. The other one went to prison. I didn't have a lot of contact with them or my mother. Yeah, they had their problems. My aunt raised me and gave me discipline. Okay. That's why I'm a comic. That's why I'm a comic. Because I fucked up right. So you got some darkness. And so I can see him is implying that I want to be able to observe that you're not doing something suspicious. Okay. So in your experience, what is the number one thing you look to when somebody is not upfront with you? What's your tell that somebody else is not on the level? Well, eye contact? That's pretty wedding eye contact, avoiding eye contact. Just pretty much everything my brother did. Ya know? Remind me my brother. Right. Right. Right. Remind me of my brother. All right, that's gonna do it for this episode. Right that's both of them got we have covered so much ground. I feel like we've been on journey with some brand new True Crime podcasts a fun journey. We'll see. Love to say this. Oh, I have two sons that are awesome. Guys. I have grandchildren. I got a lot to be thankful for. I don't dwell on that stuff. Oh, clearly. I don't. Yeah. And I get up. I tell jokes. I'm a happy person. I have a lot. I got a lot to be thankful for. So I don't dwell on it. I don't think you can. Yeah. And before we go, just tell us a little bit about what's your podcast about about the podcast. Okay, so it's called off the rails and what we do is my co hosts will come up with some questions. And I usually try to get some comics that I know and please watch it because it's a lot of fun. I've had my sons have actually Skyped in and been on the podcast as well. And we just talked to them. He asked him some questions. then I just kind of do with kind of an interview thing. And we don't really run bids, but we just have a blast, man. All right, we appreciate you being here on this episode continued success out on the road with your gigs do encourage everybody to go check out the podcast off the rails TM WM crawler wits. Thank you so much for being here with us at The comedy roundtable. Thanks welcome. Thanks for having me.