Comedy Roundtable

Jeff Leeson Returns

May 24, 2022 Jeff Leeson Season 7 Episode 66
Comedy Roundtable
Jeff Leeson Returns
Show Notes Transcript

On Comedy Roundtable, our hosts Jamie Bendall, Adam Haigh and Jamie Hernan interview stand up comedians, and other funny folks, in a series of segments during which the guests choose from a set of categories to answer lightning round questions. Sometimes off the wall, occasionally contemplative, the questions inspire fun conversations and give our listeners the chance to get to know the comedians they have heard on the radio, seen online or enjoyed during a live performance.

Jeff Leeson returned to Comedy Roundtable, bringing his wicked wit and Canadian sensibilities to the discussion of episode categories Childhood Memories and Non-Political Discourse.

Follow Jeff across social media using @jeffleesoncomedy, and check out his website at https://jeffleesoncomedy.com/.

Want to interact with the hosts of Comedy Roundtable? Email us at audience@comedyroundtable.com.

We love to receive your feedback here at Comedy Roundtable headquarters. If you have suggestions for how we can make the show better and improve the experience of our listeners, please email us at feedback@comedyroundtable.com.

Are you a stand up comedian that wants to appear on the Comedy Roundtable? Please email us at booking@comedyroundtable.com.

Jamie Bendall: bendall@comedyroundtable.com
Adam Haigh: haigh@comedyroundtable.com
Jamie Hernan: hernan@comedyroundtable.com

Unknown:

Ladies and gentlemen, comedy roundtable these are great questions. Yes, good comedian a math question. Really good question. Thank you. This is so much fun you guys. That is a good question. And that lightning round was so fun. That's a really good question. comedy fans Khan versation enthusiast it is a brand new episode of the comedy roundtable pull up a chair settle in. We have a great conversation for you this episode let's get this party started Jamie vandal Jamie Hernan Adam I lost my headphones. I was so excited. We have a great guest pull up a chair. This is the comedy roundtable. We have saved a chair for you and for our guest this evening. Comedian Jeff Leeson. Gentlemen, welcome Jack. Welcome back. Oh, thank you for having me back. I appreciate it. Thank you guys. We got a big bio Reed coming right by already right now because we know we are on limited time with Jeff he is double booked for a recording of the podcast. He's doing a another episode on a new streaming service called Book Wixey. After he is done with us, make sure you check it out on the quick see streaming. All right. Plus, here is Jeff this is your bio from your website. We'd like to read it as though it is a corporate awards dinner. For 22 years Jeff Leeson has been astonishing crowds across North America and once in Cuba, with his Austro cough improvisational style that leaves crowds not only wanting more but amazed at what they just witnessed. being described as a human firework display Jeff uses the surroundings and people in front of them to create one of the most unique and personal shows you will ever see. It's more than a performance. It's an experience into headlining top comedy venues around North America. Jeff's comedy has been featured on Sirius XM Radio Spotify, to our long comedy specials on Amazon Prime and a dry bar comedy special that is our guest, Jeff Leeson, also once on the comedy roundtable, previously known as the Bach has made the bio yet I didn't want to bring that up that it is no sorry. I spent so much money on somebody writing that bio that I haven't had the funds to write a second bio to let people know that I have also appeared now two times on the comedy roundtable. So wasn't that vile worth every bit of that? $7,500 I paid that lady It was incredible. I mean, it basically the firework the human fireworks thing I thought really drove it home. I thought the use of commas was very impressive. And you know, just outside the box. Thank you. She's a former English teacher. So I think that's where that comes into play. Nice. Regular car and the Oxford one. Oh, yeah, absolutely not. Everybody's doing that. By us. Everybody gives me a hard time about their perception that I have too many responsibilities. Yes, I'm gonna start calling myself the human Oxford comma. Ooh, Jeff, the human firework you the human extra, copy me the human Oxford comma, you do take long pauses as our editor knows. I'm just gonna think about whether it was to keep what I just said. And I'll be honest with you mentally you're a little more ellipses than comma You just dropped Oh shit. Went to school he went to school. Somebody showing their education. Big Brown this guy kind of second guessing though. That is the dot dot dot All right. So what do you been up to since we talked to you last? I've been selling siding for a little while you know like yeah, roofs and siding and that stuff? I got into that career for a little bit so I'm making a killing over there. But siding yeah roofs though. Jeff. I don't have burst your bubble but I'm a good salesman. He's like you got to put it on the sides you got on the roof. Hey, everybody's doing it my man everybody. First of all, you know if you're in the industry everybody knows that a shingle is Sky siding. That's right. It's one of my top sellers. Yeah, what do you got these wall shingles? Yeah, yeah, that Home Improvement stuff. They're always putting wainscoting and you're like yeah, that's that's so 2020 where everyone's doing siding inside now. Yeah, the two siding on the inside. Do you ever find yourself accidentally slipping into crowd work though when you're doing your sales and and you start sort of mocking the people that you're trying to get to buy your sky siding. I started doing that but I wasn't closing any deals with that. They were they were too upset because I was I was trying to work off them and they just wanted to know where they should put their siding. And obviously I showed them whether they would put it on the roof. So could you get away with ringing the doorbell and saying hi I'm I must be at the wrong house. Because somebody is looking for new siding but there's No way with as good as this house looks. This is the address I'm supposed to be. Oh, sweet. I don't know, but I'll try it tomorrow to trash the house to get them to realize they need your help. No, no, you gotta give them a little compliment. Like you guys have been trying, but I'm going to help you guys out. Yes, I can make it even better. Usually what I do is I knock on the door and I go, I was just driving by and this is the worst piece of shit home I've ever seen in my life. And I think what would really spruce it up is some siding on your roof in the inside. And some shingles if you'd like. Yeah. And people seem to really respond. I mean, I've had a few. I've had a few fights. Sure. Sure. But, but you know, that's that's to be expected in any in any form of business. You're gonna get in some fights. i That's where I show up. My mentor told me Listen, my boss is gonna kill me if I come back with any shingles still on the truck. So I can cut you a deal right now on these architectural shingles 20 year and we'll just leave them here in case you decide to do the shingle deck, you know, you can just use this I'm just gonna give you this one for free. But the slogan We got shingles is excellent for a roofing company. Yeah, it's not bad, right? Yeah, we share the point. Simple tells you everything you need to know. Yeah. And also you might you might it might be the medical thing you might be giving them some of your medical history there as well. Who knows? Spin us? I like it. I like the book. Yeah, yeah. You know what, guys that even even though we've only just begun here, I feel like I've gotten a lot out of this. I mean, this has been a business meeting more than anything. I've really appreciated this. I love it. This is fantastic. My shingle business through the roof tomorrow. Ah, unintended. Thank you. That's right. Because of all the shingles advice we've given you. I don't know how taxes work in Canada, but this is all tax deductible now, because we have you don't have you just gotta pay taxes. We do. I've never I've never been involved in that sort of thing. As a Canadian touring comedian, I've never made enough where the government was like, Can I get a piece of that? Like some of my fucking chicken wings, Trudeau. Trudeau is coming. Hey, wait a minute. Did you was there You sure you were not trucker? convoying? No, there was no I was. But I did get stuck behind those bucks. Trying to get over to do shows in America, when Canada was on full lockdown. And I couldn't work here. And I kept leaving. And I got I had to go to a whole other I had to go from Windsor to Sarnia and cross over into Port Huron because those guys decided to just fucking park on the highway. Alright, Jeff, so we have round one here. You've got three categories to choose from. And there's two rounds. So one of these categories will die. Yeah. Toddlers, childhood memories, and non political discourse. So you can choose one, childhood memories placed childhood memories. All right, clockwise or counterclockwise? clockwise, please. All right, clockwise, starting with Jamie. All right, what is a childhood memory that you have that you're beginning to feel maybe never actually happened? Okay, I started doing stand up comedy when I was 14. And, and I remember doing like, I remember the first show was in my mom's like, where she worked. It was like, in her auditorium, there was like, friends and you know, friends, family, people, I played hockey with there. And I started kind of doing like comedy after that, like, that was what really got me into it. And I remember being 14 and And lately, I've been doing a lot of shows where they ask sort of these types of questions and or something like how did you start? And that's been starting to go down on my mind. Like, Was I really that age? Or was I like, 27. But I still live that home with my mom and thought I was a fucking teenager. But I turned out I was just a complete piece of shit. And and nobody told me so that's one thing that's been sort of questioning from childhood. Makes sense? Yeah. I feel like I touched a nerve. A little bit. Jesus. Really? Yeah. You got a deep there? I'm gonna need a minute. Yeah. All right. What is it as a child, I was amazed. It's I remember I have a specific memory of going to a skate park and seeing skateboarders and thinking that's the most amazing skill in the world and wanting to become a skateboarder. Then I kind of realized that that's almost completely useless. Do you can you think of any skill that is amazing. But somehow useless. I mean, juggling comes to mind, doesn't it? Right, like, like so cool, but absolutely pointless and like, the more crazy you juggle, like if you're juggling shit that's on fire and you're not burning yourself and you're juggling knives. Yeah, but like, other than doing that for people that are like fast, you know, paid to see a juggler. And there's absolutely no need to know that and it takes so fucking long to learn. It takes so long to learn balls, and then you add fucking Hey, why don't you set those on fire? I mean, that Yeah, so I would say I would say Jonathan, I love jugglers, and I have respect for anybody who's taking the time to learn how to juggle, but unnecessary things like the first juggler came in and was like honey goes to the spouse is like, look what I can do. Look what I can do it. She just looked at him and said, why? But no, I don't think I don't think a woman was involved in the first time. I think it was two idiots. And they had a competition and one guy just was able to keep it up way longer. They brought in the rest of the tribe or whatever it was. And it was all dudes and no woman there to say, Can we maybe learn? Can we? Maybe Can we go fucking kill an animal? The children can eat right? They come back empty handed from the hunt. Yeah, the rest of the village is saying where's the food? You said you were hunting Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Before we get to what we caught her didn't cut catch. Look at this look like Tony learned how to do he can do this thing with the fruit is amazing. Try this with rocks. And Tony is gonna set his spirit on fire. And I'm gonna throw mine in there at the same time. And then we're gonna throw rocks at him and he's gonna catch every single one of them which children are going to die of starvation. I will tell you that right now. About the food watch when Tony could do and by the way we kind of buried the lead. We also invented fire. We also have fire. So yeah, it was nothing to put over so I cannot stress it out. We have literally nothing to cook Yeah, on that fire by oh my god, it's gonna be so hot and famous and shit on fire. This is amazing. Tony can take the guy the guy was selling the the juggling over the fire. But go back to the thing that's hurting over there. Can we talk? Is there any other use for that thing for us whether anybody back then was actually named Tony, are you? Like one of the first names? Yeah, well, it's it's Anthony. What do you think marking? Warm is great grandfather. It was like one of the first six the hieroglyphs was for Tony. They just actually did some cave writings. And they said it's like some of the oldest cave writings and it's if you've ever watched National Geographic, most of the guys on there Tony, Tony's How do you know this stuff? But how do you know? Come on ellipsis to say femoral Europe. All right, my turn. All right childhood memories. Jeff. Yes. What is your favorite childhood memory of my dad? Okay, one time, me and your dad went to a waterpark together. Okay. And he told me very eager. He said, You know what? I wanted to get away from my family. And I was gonna bring my son, but he was too afraid to go down the big waterslide. And I thought, well, that's weird. I've never met. I don't know this. I don't know this guy. We're not even friends. And I don't know why I'm with this man at this waterpark, but who gives a shit because I was a little afraid of the of the big water side as well. But I want him to be disappointed in me. Like he seemed to be disappointed in at least one of his sons. I don't want to have children. He had to have that level of disappointment. And so that allowed me to get over my fear of the big fucking waterside. And he actually put me between his legs a little weird now we had never met. Yeah, a little weird, but it was the 80s So I mean, time is much cooler. Yeah, yeah, free time. And then we went down this waterside together and he said at the end of it, I said thank you for letting me get over my fear. And he said, I can now go and have a good talk with my son, and hopefully he can overcome his fear of waterside sunbaked who says my favorite childhood memory is that this is really enlightening for Ventile because as he grew up, his father was constantly telling them you're no leasing your no lease and not No, no, that's not true. He never said that to me. I will say however, he did travel to Canada a lot in the summer for business Yeah, sure did you share that with Ontario? I don't know but he was always bring it home now book. Never mind it was never in my home city for some reason he always made me traveled. But he would always buy the Greyhound bus ticket for me to meet him there. For some reason my mom totally cool with it. Yeah absolutely had my first drink with him too. It was nice first drink. We're gonna talk about that a little Yeah. All right when we are back with more of the comedy round table with comedian Jeff Leeson. was reading about a guy who had a girl's name tattooed on his arm Boy Named Sue, like Jamie Meghan tattooed because he had gone to see a psychic when he was young, and said that the love of his life was going to be Megan. Oh, that's cool. Pressure. So he tattooed it on his arm. Okay, as basically out looking for Megan's Yeah, because he's convinced that this is going to be the person I feel like that ensures that he will never Oh, my name, Megan. I think it's totally observer bias, right so that the Megan's will automatically seem better in his eyes. What a great pickup line though. But I think it's measurable. All right, except that all of his exes are also going to be maggots. Oh, that's a good point. And any new girl that he might have an interest in? That might be the right Meghan right. It's gonna be like, Oh my God, you will not believe the new girl at work. By the way, her name is Megan. So funny upside is to yell out a name while in passion. It's always it's always Megan. So as it turns out, I married to Kelly. But I have several ex girlfriends named Kelly that are Kelly's. No, sir. Yeah. Wow. Yep. Whoa, many of them. Now you're bragging. just coincidence. I just went I read the story. I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. And I was like any women are a lot of killers. And I mean, that's implied. He's pretty handsome. Charming. Right. Right. So at some point you have the conversation with Kelly and she asked you what your number was. And your response was I gave her I gave her a Kelly only Kelly's specific of the Kelly Yeah, you've been the best Yeah, yeah. I love you man. And like six to say the number but oh, I was making you like on your debut like I love you more than any other woman. always problematic, not problematic. Our next guest let's go back to our guest. We are rapidly reaching the conclusion of this episode here with comedian Jeff Elise and Jamie Bendele Jamie Hernan Adam Haig. All right, Jeff. We have two remaining topics. The live one will die. Yeah, I'll tell him. All right. Topic number one is drinking with Bendel's dad. Nope. I'll take it. No, it's not. I got lots of stories. Yeah. All right. Well, we all except Jamie. He's the only one. There's toddlers, and non political discourse. Let's go with us. Because I'm fascinated by let's go with non political discourse. Please. Sir Justin Trudeau thanks to you, because he's about to come up with a clockwise or counterclockwise. Let's go counter on this round counterclockwise. Starting with Jamie. Jamie. All right. You're stuck in an elevator with the aforementioned Justin Trudeau. For four hours. You cannot talk about anything related to politics. What do you talk about to pass the time? First of all, we smoke weed together? Yep. Because it's my favorite thing he's ever done is get behind the legalization of marijuana. And he happened. I don't even know what year that was. But he was the driving force behind that. And I think he just needs it to calm the fuck down. Just roll a fatty. Yeah, so I would say, bro, check out what I got. I would light it up. We're in an elevator. So I'll put my phone away. I'll turn my phone off. So we nobody will ever know. No cameras, if there's a camera will like have our whatever the Canadian CIA is shatter those Sure. So nobody will ever see it. CIA is in there with you. No, no. They're cool. They're cool. They're cool. They'll do whatever he says he's their boss. And we'll get that guy too. So smoke some weed with the SIA K, the CCI and then Trudeau and just like and I think he would appreciate not talking about anything politically at all. Anyway, I just think he would rather do that. So I'm down to talk about whatever he wants because I don't give a shit about any of the political side. Anyway, so are you saying that the central All Intelligence Agency of Canada is the CC IA can't be true. Canadian central intelligence agents pretty cool. I believe that the same guy who tried to try to trick us with at the School for the Blind stuff, so I don't know if we can trust them back. That's why I was double checking. I've never heard it as the seats. I've heard of MI six. I've heard of the CIA. I've never heard of this. See CIA. Yeah, they keep a low profile. That's Canadian good. Really fucking good. Their job? Actually, maybe it'll turn in your face about it. You know what I mean? I think I know why it is that it's because they maybe don't generate any the intelligence of their own. They just carbon copy what the United States said. I don't think that's true. And that's why it's the CCA. Now it's not just the US that we steal from all countries. Real quick follow up question. By the way, if you guys did take that from us, like if we create it first, and you still we would just all we would do is just be like, sorry, I'm just reading habits. We would never, we never put up a fight. Anyway. If rain clouds were to bear Jews boiling hot ramen soup everywhere on the planet for a solid two days with the rainfall severity being like an average day in Scotland. But instead of rain, it's like nitro hot 212 degree water. And okay, every single country in the world is getting the same inundation. Do you think we survive, that people would survive? Wow. It's how much is it? How much it's at least the temperatures 212. So boiling hot. And it's down all day, every day, or it's just like, most every day for two days, everywhere in the world, everywhere in the world. And so you know, we are not constrained by our categories. We can ask any question we want regardless of category. Space, you say? So just relax. So you're saying two days of hot noodle Rama? Yeah, just coming down. But for two days straight. That's on the t shirt though. Yeah, I would say to the Don't forget. There's definitely gonna be some people that don't but I mean, that happens in rain. Also. You know what I mean? Some people get weeded out just in general. Okay, so we're definitely going to lose some people. I don't think we needed them. Yeah, and but yeah, I think overall enough survive that we keep you know, things sorted. I mean, there obviously be some damage and shit like that. But I mean, survival. I think enough survive, I think but long term. I'm thinking no crops probably survived that. Yeah. Yeah, long term. So I just have a ramen taste to them. I actually think you know when it's time to fucking get inside from hot noodle Rama is when it starts sprinkling seasoning. And you're like, oh, yeah, I think it's about to start. Right. I think that I will definitely keep my windows open though. Because that smell would be really good. Like, I wouldn't want to hear the screaming and the terror that would smell like I don't mind that smell burning. Yeah, are Bendel you're up all right I'm confused by the topic honestly apparently Yeah. Political Do you want to go back but I think I miss interpreted do we go to toddlers are out yeah Jeff for toddlers overrated for sure. My children in general. Next door last Jeff Leeson episode. The blind school you got your mother's overrated? Yeah, toddlers attacking Jeff as all these things call backs. Go back and listen to the other Jeff. All right. There we go. If you were going to be an over the road Canadian trucker would be your animal mascot. Who? Wow. Over the Road over the road. Meaning like, long legs rocker. Oh, long. Okay. Yeah. Okay, that's right, that couple things come to mind. And I think I might combine them both. Is like a cheetah or a jaguar. But as big as a bear. And like a bear. So like a bear body with like a cheetah or a Jaguar head? Aren't you worried about people just saying is that a fat Jaguar? Is that really fat Jaguar? Cheetah? That's what I want. I want to talk him so that when they come over to my truck, and I open up the back I can go look how much siding I have in this fucking truck. Boo. Yo, do you want to drive it or do you want to sit? Do you need it on your roof? Where do you need it? Look at my fat cheetah fed trucking. That's where we become fast. Are you Are you saying you're fast cheetahs? No, no, no, no See that also makes us not have to get there on time like if we're late three days fast you want to pass Gita read their fucking logo? S Yeah we don't go 78 miles an hour we go seven or eight fine print read the fine print we told you what year that shit would arrive? Yeah, a day and time. It's coming this year. Look, you want something there tomorrow buy it on Amazon my man. Cheetah is gonna take a few months. Yeah, we take oversight. Everybody gets an overnight That's fucking easy to dispatch. I got like 10 Fat cheetah trailers just to sit here. How many times does your shit show up in a jaw smash because somebody's got it. They're really quick, fat cheetah fat cheater and we get a big fat cat in the cab. So many lunch. So many lunch break. Breaks, mostly eating diversely Hey, you gotta stop. Jesus got eight minutes on eight hours off eight minutes. Eight hours. That's in the contract. That's right there in the contract. Right? Yeah. So people are looking for citing your stand up comedy where they're gonna find you Jeff leasing comedy.com has all of my tour dates and everything like that. And I'm on all the social media Instagram, Tik Tok, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, all that kind of stuff. Jeff leasing comedy or Jeff leasing comedian on everything. Oh, and Jeff Leeson show on YouTube. If you haven't spent some time with Jeff Gleeson on tick tock, you're missing out like that's the he's the guy that the Tick Tock comes up. You hit his profile, and you watch every single video the man's ever put up there because they're all hilarious. Yeah, it's funny. I really appreciate that. Thank you very much stuff. Very nice. Yeah. And thank you guys for having me on again. Man. This is a lot of fun. I love the I love the show. And I love you guys. And I appreciate you having me on. And my apologies that I that I had to be so quick here. No, for literally any other day. I have nothing to do. And it just happened to be the night where somebody has had things booked like they say in the roofing business when it rains it pours. That's right. That's right. That's right. That actually helps. We sell more on those days. Our favorites are always gonna friend at the comedy roundtable man. We'll see you soon, buddy. Thank you guys. Thank you very much. Have a great night. Thanks. Thanks for having me. All right. That was comedian Jeff Leeson always funny very, very humorous guy. So as Adam was saying check him out wherever you can for Jamie Jamie and Adam side your chair back to where you found it. We are joining the company roundtable for this time, but we will see you again shortly with another interesting guests. We always save space for you. Like subscribe, tell a friend download them all. Huzzah.