Johnny Taylor Jr

Ladies and gentlemen, comedy roundtable. These are great questions. Yes, good comedian a math question. Really good question. Thank you. This is so much fun you guys. That is a good question. And that lightning round was so fun. That's a really good question. comedy fans Khan versation enthusiast it is a brand new episode of the comedy roundtable. Pull up a chair settle in. We have a great conversation for you this episode. Let's get this party started. Jamie battle Jamie. Hernan, Adam. Hey, we have saved a seat for you, dear listener at the comedy roundtable. So settle in. We have also saved the seat for our guest this evening. Mr. Shani Taylor, Jr. Welcome to the show, John. You know, thanks for having me. It's good to be here. So listen, we appreciate the fact that you know we're gonna we're gonna have some fun. We're gonna do some roundtable he kind of rapid fire sort of questions but one of the things that we do when we launch into an episode is we do the big bio read and many comedians we have bios that when we hear them read aloud by another person, we are inspired to rewrite our bios. Right right. So I don't know when the last time this one was redone. And I have chosen for tonight's reading your bio as it appears on I m dB. Okay, this is older, probably a little bit older. All right. Johnny Taylor doesn't care what you think his raw, personal and often darkly hilarious style made him a quickly rising star within the California comedy scene with grizzled vets arguing he's got too good too quick. He did things his own way and found himself sharing the stage with comedians like David Taylor and Robin Williams, and was soon opening for Eliza Schlesinger and Brian Passaic, Amazon wrote of Taylor's tangled up in Platt album, a man forever in His blue period in color and sensibility. Taylor worked to hone a comic sensibility that's equal parts introspection, and intellectual inversion, which is to say, he's funny, thoughtful, a little mean, a little earnest, and a man who lives up to his Twitter handle few among us can make that claim. I'm gonna pause there that good. Oh, that's plenty. That's sufficient. That's plenty. One of these days, we need to do some deep research and find someone's bio for maybe like when they were running for class president and fourth grade. Unfortunately, because of the internet, our BIOS live, I can't tell you how many times the person introducing me at an event feels like they have to read the whole friggin bio. And I've gotten to the point where now when someone says can you send me your bio, I actually have a paragraph at the bottom that says, if introducing me, please read only this. Right? You have it at the bottom there because it's not too late. Now, because that's beautiful fun. I've made everything possible to say this part can go on the program. This part is what you should say. Got it. Got it? Yeah. Yeah. It's just worried about the placement. Like they would put you on notice. I get it trying to tell us what have you been up to? I just read half of the paragraph paragraph. It's IMDB. I'll pull right up. I can read off of it. Let's talk about now. Like what projects do you have working on? What have I been up to work on the road again, a lot, which is good, I missed it. But then you know, two years goes by we're gonna work the road and then you're on the road, you're like, I'm fucking old. It is a little bit more exhausting than I remember it being but I've been able to post saying, it's been good. Just working out the kinks. I'm going to record a new hour here in the next few months. So putting it all together, but it's been good. Good to do stand up again. I fucking missed it. We all did. It's amazing how everybody kind of hasn't been back on stage with a new perspective. I will say that that is definitely something you know, it forced people to to have a deeper appreciation for something that got taken away from them. Yeah, although in fairness, I have seen a couple of Acts, who apparently have not written any new material since go. Right. And I'm like, how did you not use this time? Right? Anything? You do? Nothing? No, no, you're skipping over the whole pandemic, you do that many? zooms like it's no, it's a layup. Right. It's like they're they're actors, that static right. I think it's fair to say, though, that most people got nothing accomplished during COVID. I would say that COVID was maybe one of the more important growth periods for most people. One time, people would say, you know, if I just had three months to be at my house, and not have to go to work, I could get so much accomplished. And then three months went by, and they realized I have not done anything in my house. No. I mean, I think there's probably a grace period where the first couple of months are like this initial shock of like, we're trapped in our house and let's watch TV gets down, drink way too much and just kind of hermit up. But you know, after a couple months, I was like, Oh, I gotta start developing some bets. And I remember coming back and like one of the first real live like showcases, I even attended being shocked at my local scene how either no one had any new material, or everybody had The same COVID material, a lot of duplication. Yes. So, so much of the same but this was kind of a practice pandemic like will really kill it in the next pandemic. So quick question just to see where you fall and this is a question that's come up a number of times on the comedy round table. So clearly the currency of the Apocalypse will be Starburst candy which flavor will be the Penny? Penny probably lemon. Yeah, I think that's probably right or green orange is a low denomination I think just name all Well, I think green is probably your nickels. Well, so first of all oranges and die and let's just be clear, cherries and strawberries are just super clear. super clear. We're only talking original lemon orange strawberry or cherry. I'm not I'm not the European Union. The EU can do it. Right. We are we are traditional red blooded American lemon to cheer you know my hammer. We have adopted the tropical to the standard Starburst exchange. Yeah, tropical it's like the doge coin it's all it's all cryptocurrency that's not worth anything to get your hands out in my Starburst wallet. It was tropicals or worse something dad. All right. So we give the guests the choice of our question topics are question topics tonight. Are you going to only use two of the three and they are as follows songs of the 1990 threes mystery question or construction zones. I'll do 90 threes. You just pick one for now. Start with songs of the 1990 threes clockwise or counterclockwise counterclockwise All right counterclockwise starting with Jamie All right. Me Hello famously sung that he would do anything for love. But he wouldn't do that in the song released in 1983. What would you not do for love? I guess like, you know, I've thought about this more than you know, there's so many things I wouldn't do for love. Hard to narrow it down. As research, we read your diary. Okay, good. Thank God. I guess what I wouldn't do is like, probably watch any Ben Affleck movie for love. I won't even do it. No, I couldn't. I hate Ben Affleck with a fiery fiery power. Right to the heart of that one though, is that that includes Goodwill Hunting, you know, I like it. Well hunting. That's the only one right? Yeah. And you know, like, even mall rats where he's the guy a casual now. I'll skip through it. I'll skip through that part. Yeah, that's smart. That's smart. I kind of ambivalent about him and Chasing Amy. Oh, yeah, he was okay. You know, maybe it's like post 9098 9099 Like Ben Affleck was like a superhero. Who was the Daredevil he was Batman. Oh, his Batman. Yeah, that was the worst Batman when I would say and that's hard to be if you'd consider like the Michael Keaton's of the world. So let me tell you that I think that I have, we're gonna get so much hate mail for that. I have I have a little bit of a conflicted relationship with. Okay, sir. And part of it is I give him a little credit for seemingly recognizing that he's needed to get his life in order in some respects. And so he has this challenged marriage with Jennifer Garner, kind of go sideways. He has these children. He kind of gets it back together. And then I think he goes back to one of the great loves of his life with Jenny from the block. Oh my gosh, right. That is a soap opera that I don't Yeah, I don't follow. I actually thought he was really pretty good in that movie where he played the drunk basketball coach, Hoosiers. Recently Hoosiers, wood chips, wood chips, wasn't Bucha it was falling apart or putting the pieces together. I feel like the Chinese answer set up a complete opportunity to trash Ben Affleck and we've had basically a love fest. Yeah, that's true. It is true. You know, as we talk, I'm like, actually, he's not so bad. Yeah. So maybe the moral of this is that Johnny would do anything for love. You know, I think you might be right. Adam. Yeah. All right. What band exists today would be that didn't exist in 1993 would fit really well in 1993. That's a good one. I've always kind of thought like, if I had heard this new music in night, like 20 years ago, or 30 years ago now, would I have thought like, they're way too out there? Like if you heard Kanye in 1993 You'd be like, What the fuck is this guy even doing I do that right now? But that's that's a tough question. I mean, as I as I Rolodex, my, my 2022 bands, right, you know, there's a lot of those kind of lame, like all rock bands that are still kind of around. Yeah, that probably would have sounded okay. And 93 You know, there's like, shine down. They did that. Song Yeah, tell my mother tell my father, DJ me burn the song. It's a very dramatic stupid song. They're probably they're still around and they were probably they probably started around like 2012 2013 but they would have fit right into 1993 I think. So Shinedown Jackson in 90 days. Okay, that's good. I was kind of thinking like maybe like a Mumford and Sons, like those that seem to have, you know, would be a similar I would say more like a band like AJR Oh, really went back 30 took them 30 years back in 1993 People will be like, Okay, I could get in kind of like a Falco. I would say maybe the 1975 Yeah. I mean, maybe Mumford and Sons transcendent, and you can just play on any old era. And they're gonna sound like shit. Yeah, I'm not a big Mumfie No. Okay. No, that's fair. No, I'm not asking. You know, I'm gonna tell you right off the bat. I'm skeptical of any band that is rock and banjo heavy. Interesting. Oh, you're gonna fight? Yeah, I don't think I don't think first of all, you need to go see Judah and the lion live. Nope. And you'll change your opinion. No. Don't like to to the lion. Nope. Okay. I will say this was one of the greatest and assaults I was ever achieved on Twitter. Some guy just DM me and was like, You're the Mumford and Sons of comedy. Fuck you. Oh, wow. That was like, come on. They're much more successful. To be to be honest. I don't know about content quality. But was he maybe just saying your material isn't for everybody? I've probably. And I hear that a lot. Okay, so I'm a proponent of make art. Not War. No. Make art for a fan. Don't make art. For everybody. I agree. That's exactly what a band who incorporates a banjo is doing? Yeah. Right. So maybe I am the Mumford and Sons of Congress. We've turned you around on athletes. fucky was pretty harsh. No, you're up. That was unnecessary. All right. All right. So we have asked a question about 1993, which is essentially 30 years in the past 30 years before 1993 was, of course 1963. You're so good. In which late December, there was a remarkable night. My question to you is, is there ever an appropriate time to include a date in a song? That doesn't itself? date the song? Did you just use creative math to escape the category? Question? I'm definitely the girl with the algebra floating around me right now. To write about this, are you really making fun of me? Yeah, I just want to answer nine a lab. Yeah, where were you in the world stop turning sounds like now a 20 year old song, in part because of the incorporation of the day. Yes. Right. Right. So any I would argue the way to make a song seem old immediately, is to include a date in the song. It's 1991. Son. Well, now it just seems like a super old song. Yeah, remember to Live Crew. They came out with that. After the wonderful sports weekend album. The next album they came out with was called back at that ask for the nine for and now you're just like, the sounds cheesy. Now. It sounds cheesy because of the inclusion of the year, right? Yeah, I say it's almost unless it's a incredibly historic event. Maybe stay away from dates and songs. Maybe the only exception to that is prints is 1999. Now I'm thinking oh, yeah, that's still just slaps as hard as it ever did. Right? Because it was both future looking in the lead up to it. Oh, my God, what's the future gonna be like we're gonna party like it's 1999. And now it's become nostalgic. Yeah, as it's receded into the 70s, both forward looking. And it's one of the rare archival is to both forward and back. Yeah, that's just hard to do. I don't know that. I can't think of anybody else that pulled that off. Now that you mentioned it. Yeah, it was we were future looking until about, well, 2000. Also, the song just has to be an absolute banger. I mean, I think that's kind of what pushes 1999 through. Yes, we are with our guest comedian, Johnny Taylor, Jr. We will be back with more comedy roundtable right after this. All right. We talk occasionally on the show about the concept of time travel. And there was a musical question that was related to time travel. If you are going to time travel, and bring music of one era backwards. I think you change all music thereafter. Forward. Yeah. What No, I which timeframe could you bring backwards to Most Improved music going forward. I think if you brought back what is considered modern rock back, you could have averted all of the hair metal bands. We're talking 90s I'm saying you take the black keys back and you drop them in ad there is no motley crew. So Black Keys are the antidote to Whitesnake. Whitesnake was not paramount. No, I would not say Whitesnake was horrible What the hell was Whitesnake? If it wasn't Hair Metal? Whitesnake, I think is more in the vein of like ACDC What about Skid Row? Can I say skid Rose Hair Metal Skid Row was probably Hair Metal poison. Poison was definitely Hair Metal. Def Leppard. Not rock Hair Metal Hansen's, I think it's actually called the handsome Okay, well, I would say if you take the 70s or if you take maybe a little bit before that, if you go like Beatles era, and go backwards to the music that inspired it. You would negate it. Would you negate it? Or just accelerate it? Use like jazz, blues and jazz blues? Right? Would music be worse? Because they would, they wouldn't get through the all the roots of Jazz Blues to develop the rock, right? Just have a superficial rock. In order for the butterfly effect to work. The butterfly can't kill the butterfly. So the Beatles were derivative? Yes. If you took the Beatles and put them preceding their originator, the derivative never occurs. So you have to take an original and put it before a derivative. Well, aren't they all derivatives at some point? They are ideally progressions. Speaking of butterflies, if you were to take the movie cocoon, too, and bring it back to the time of the movie cocoon, would there be a cocoon too? There would be more. I think there probably would be a multiplier. It would be like one of those nests of caterpillars because they already knew before they got to cocoon, the cocooning goes well, and the old people already knew what was happening. But if you take cocoon, too, and put it before cocoon, is it still a secret? You're always what you are in the time period that you existed. So you live in this in a world where there was a one for which there was a sequel, again, I'm telling you original can always go before derivatives derivatives can never go before original. There can't be a two before one. You've given us a lot to think about Jamie so let's go back to the guest All right, we're back. We are now turning the corner into another of our lightning round questions. Our remaining categories are mystery questions and construction zones. I want to do mystery QUESTION Thank God All right. Mystery questions staying counter are going clock let's go clock clockwise starting with Jamie. Alright, so these are rapid fire questions. This one's more of like a cannon ball. It's gonna take a little while. Alright, so a penguin waltzes into an Abercrombie and Fitch store to purchase some jeans and crop top with a screen print graphic of the DVD cover for the movie Clueless at the same time and antelope enters the same store looking for some hipster cologne still with me on him? Nope. The to make direct eye contact and come to the realization that they've met in a parallel universe laughing it off. They pay for their purchases and they leave but not before the antelope. surreptitiously spray some cologne on the penguin because we all know penguins smell awful. You come up and encounter the penguin who now smells marginally better and you engage in a debate over the coolest Soundtrack The Penguin demands that you rank the following bands that are found on the soundtrack. They are the Mighty Mighty Bosstones Beastie Boys the muffs Radiohead and the smoking Popes. Okay, first off what is soundtrack? That's pretty impressive that those guys pull those bands out, but I'm sorry go ahead with your answer. I left off Coolio. Oh wow. Mighty Mighty Bosstones last. I'm not a big Scott guy. This is actually a thing about me. Especially like the third wave ska stuff really really really deplore it. My one of my good friends is a guy named Aaron Carnes and he wrote a book called in defense of ska. I've actually been on his podcast, just because they wanted someone on there that Hey, Scott, and I literally just spent an hour just shitting on Scott First, I would probably go with Radiohead. It would be high on my list. I'm a Radiohead guy. You got the muffs the smoking popes and Beastie Boys. beastie boy, Beastie Boys first Radiohead, second, smokin Pope's third buffs fourth and then Mighty Mighty Bosstones. So you are a writer for a punk rock channel or read for the hard times. That's a satire website. Right? And so of those bands, which of those bands would you consider punk as the first descriptor of the band? I would probably say the Beastie Boys would probably be the most pot even though the maps I mean, I guess the maps would probably be considered as a genre punk rock even though it's more like probably post punk. Yeah, I would say like in spirit even though they're You're more famous for rap music. Beastie Boys are probably the most punk rock out of those bands. I don't think he would have gotten along with a penguin because I did hear that he was a big Mighty Mighty Bosstones fan. Oh, I'm sure yes. All right. So my question for the mystery question is one of the things I always enjoy is figuring out the movie cliches, right? One of my favorite cliches is, you know, when you go out, that guy walks out to pick up his newspaper at the end of the driveway, and the black SUV comes up and someone gets out and says, you know, we need you. And he says, Why me? Because like, you're the only one, right? That's one of my favorites. What's a movie cliche that you enjoy? And when you see it in a movie, you're like, Okay, I actually love it when these come out. You know, I'm a big fan of like, the last girl alive in horror movies, that's like one of my favorite kind of genre based trope, you always know and you got to kind of try to figure out early like, which one of these gals is going to make it to the end? And it's almost never the one that's the most attractive like from a traditional standpoint, it's always the person is just the second most attractive right? There's so many tropes you know the you know, be right back you know, that person is about to die. What are the other characters are of that of that second or that last female? Like she is always the second most attractive girl in the group? It seems right she's never almost always Yeah, yeah. Maybe got glasses or something at the beginning. Yeah. She She has glasses to match show that she's attractive. Yeah. She's been running though. The glasses have broken they've fallen off her hairs. Come on, done. So she's come down. He's definitely gone from a six to an eight. I think in horror films in general, it's just like, the thing that makes horror films fine. Is how inherently formulaic they are right. Even the good ones, you know, even like some of the arthouse ones. That's why I like the good ones like midsummer for example. In my opinion, it's a masterpiece. You don't really ever see the exact end of that common you know, she's gonna live right. But you know, she's gonna be the last girl you kind of figure that out pretty early. All right, my turn for a mystery question. If you had the power to be a detective who could solve any cold case? What is the cold case you're pulling to solve? JonBenet Ramsay it's a good one. Yeah, why what? I think there's so many layers of creepy to the families. I'm almost certain somebody in that family did it. Yep. At this point. But who was it? Was it the was it the little brother? Was it the mom and dad was the mom or dad? Somebody knows something. And nobody's talking. And I just think it's fascinating case. Adam. Have you noticed the qualifiers that he added to the allegedly and you're like yep. Adam is the grand is the worst. So if Adam ever is with you, and you guys are busted by the cops and separated no Adam is endorsing whatever theory that detective proposes. So prisoners so you guys, so you guys took the stuff? And then was it in the car? It was no he's not he just agrees whatever. Whatever it is. theory with Adam and the prisoner's dilemma. Always assume my squeal. Yeah. You squealing in casual conversation? Yeah, I do. Like I was like, Yeah, he definitely did. But I think to your point, it would be so awesome to be the detective that blew the lid off ethic. Right that actually ties it up directly to whoever did it and you know, fills in the whole story and just kind of lays it out for everybody the whole in all its creepiness just seems like the lids pretty LIS like they Yeah, the lady. Just happening. Right? All right. And I by the way, think if I was ever going to be a detective, I would only solve I mean, I only take cold cases because the expectation of solving them very low. Right? away so much time to very low bar, right? Hey, Sarge calls me and I'm assuming it's Archer Captain Bendel? What's going on with these cold cases to be like, I'm just catching up on the phone right now. Right. There's a lot of old material to go through. Like you've solved one 200 cases last year. Congratulations. It was a close eye of closure for one fan. Right, right. Yeah. All right. Speaking of closure, we are up against our deadline for this episode. So we want to thank our guest, Johnny Taylor, Jr. So where are people going to find you online? So I'm at hipster autocracy, H I P S T E R O C R A C Y. Nice. All right. And by the way, congratulations, which I kind of glossed over in the introduction of the four of us that are on this podcast. You are one of the few people who has had a number one comedy album on Amazon and iTunes so I don't want to you know, I don't know how much it means but I'll tell you what means more any play on Sirius XM. You can just get these you know, I would gladly trade number one for number 200 album and have them just still continue to play me on Sirius XM because that's the only way that you make any money from record from recorded stuff that's true sadly but we appreciate you being here Johnny and continued success and go check him out at a comedy club near you so much. Always good to talk with comedian Johnny Taylor Jr. Go check them out podcast is terrific also very clever writer so go check them out online or wherever and then really go see him life it's always good to support our guests. Show him up. Tell him you heard them on the comedy roundtable podcast for Jamie Jamie and Adam But Jeremiah we will see you next episode.