Andy Sandford - Comedian seen on Conan and the Late Late Show with new special Basket Case available now on 800 Pound Gorilla Media (Recorded Live at the Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta)

Ladies and gentleman, comedy roundtable these are great questions. Yes, good comedian a math question. Really good question. Thank you. This is so much fun you guys. That is a good question. And that lightning round was so fun. That's a really good question. comedy fans con versation enthusiast it is a brand new episode of the comedy roundtable. Pull up a chair settle in. We have a great conversation for you this episode. Let's get this party started. Jamie Bendel Jamie, Hernan, Adam, hey, look at you getting in on the game. I appreciate that. Usually, you're so negative about him giving me the big intro. I just figured people deserve to hear it in stereo. I didn't even know that our podcast was available in stereo. Yeah, it is actually. And actually, if you put the SAP button, it's available in Spanish, we have saved a cheer for you, our listener and we've also saved a chair here at the round table for our guest this evening, Andy Sanford, we are here live at the landmark diner, immediately adjacent to the punch line, a comedy club you're actually going to be performing next weekend. And by the time the episode comes out, you will have already done the shows. Yeah, assuming Yes. Yeah. And you just had your new album? Yeah, my album and special around feedback. Good. You know, I mean, you put a lot of effort into getting this out. And I've stopped looking at any kind of youtube comments or anything. Putting out my own stuff reminds me that when I see stuff I like I never, I just say to myself, like that was pretty funny. But so like, you know, as far as who comments at all, it's going to air toward crazy people. Yes. Being people. And then occasionally someone that's nice enough to be like, This is great. But you know, for the most part, I just don't look at it. Yeah. And then the guys that are like, Hey, if you need we could go to this link in the comments. Gorgeous. I love how serious it takes. You have a I have a joke about trophies or something. And they have like this whole diatribe about how I must be a loser that never wanted to do anything. And you never got to care about trophies. And I'm like, maybe I just think it's funny. I don't know. It's just humorous. Yeah. With a premise and it went pretty well. You'll listen to the crowds. It's like relaxed. Alright, quick little format, we have a couple of subjects that we will lightning round style sort of first reaction type answers, we're only going to do two but we give you three choices. You don't have to make your two choices. Now. You can pick them one at a time. The topics are chores, analogies, or honestly, I swear Can I get an example of honestly I swear No. fly blind? Yeah. Well, we'll go with analogies analogy or something like it. Yeah. Okay. Well played in your good point. You get Yeah, you got points on the board already. All right, analogies starting with Adam, oftentimes, you see that people will analogize to different animals, people will try and analogize relationships based on different you know, this guy is a bear this person's a doe this person isn't when you think of, of animal analogies. Right? Hmm. What do you think is a strong animal, I guess? Bear and bull market? Take this one's Yeah, absolutely. And then also various terms for different gay men. Bears beavers? Oh, I'm not sure I'm not sure analogy was used correctly in any of those. Well, I can't wait for your question. This too. This? Is this not that's a metaphor, right? Isn't that a metaphor? Analogies are analogies are like a metaphor? No. Steven, Job is a simile is like a metaphor. Yeah. But it's like blind is a bad or that's an analogy. Thank you. Yeah, I think I got go to jail. All right. All right. So my question is not going to make proper use of analogy. So Hank and Bruce are two mortal enemies. And they're running towards each other, like two steam engines. One that left Chicago at 9am with 10 passengers aboard and the other

30am. Without passengers between Hank and Bruce who wins the fight. But what? Hold on a second. How was that blind as a bat? Like two steam engines? Oh, you said like Tuesday? Emily? Yeah, I qualified it. I think analogies was the worst questions ever. So assuming they are headed towards each other, right? Yeah, yes. When leaving Chicago, what? Well, they're like the steam engines and the Chicago one is leaving at 9am 10 passengers. Boston 10 Every time it is central, but it is daylight time with daylight. Yeah, it's we're in the summertime. Okay. A tie in Ohio is what I'm going to say. A tie in Ohio. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that sounds like a like an old play. Yeah, you got the tie in Ohio. All right. My analogy is if you were to compare this round of questions, yes to an extinct animals trait. Yes. What would it be? I hate this category. I would say eat dodo birds. Is it a goal But wherever lists Yeah, the uselessness of the dodos, gullet. Yeah, does it did a dodo ever fly? Did a dodo ever fly? I don't know. I don't know that a dodo ever flew. Then I'll say dodos wings. All right. Has anybody watched Jonah Hill's new Netflix documentary with his therapist? What is it? It's called? Stutz. Okay, it's just therapist named Philip Stutz. It was really, really actually very well done. I wonder because I have a few friends in New York that go to sort of some sort of famous comedy therapist, is that right? Yeah, maybe the star guy wrote several comics in my roommate at one point went to these in the Upper East Side. He has several clients client comics, why are you telling us about Jonah Hill's thing? It was had to do with being heard and whatever says. So for this round here at comedy round table live in the landmark diner adjacent to the punch line comedy club in Atlanta. We will be back with more of Andy Sanford right after this. So yeah, I'm single Sorry ladies. You got me to deal with I like being single I don't like it as a term though. Like I don't like that single is a legal term on government forms. I don't need that. The government is even sure about my home address. I don't see why they just have to know no one loves me. Doesn't seem pertinent. I'm doing fine. By the way. Don't worry about me. Just spin tomcat and around on these dating apps. Not going that well. I say stuff like Tomcat not what the kids are saying as it turns out. I hate all those dating apps because you got to sell yourself and pictures little bio and stuff. That's not how I operate. I prefer to have an air of intrigue be a man of mystery make the ladies curious sooner. sounds corny but it does work like the other night at a bar three different women just had to know what the hell my problem was. comedy roundtable we are here inside the landmark diner in Atlanta, Georgia, which is adjacent to the punch line comedy club where comedian Andy Sanford will be over Thanksgiving weekend brand new special and album is out called Basket Case and is reading very few of the comments guys just a couple, just a couple. But 5050 on positive to inane, nice positive to a name. All right, that's a good metric positive to nine was their favorite of the inane ones that you have a guy went on a tirade about because there's throughout the special about I think four or five times there's like a little cutaway of like interview footage. Yeah, some with me some with other comics and stuff. But at the longest, it's like 15 seconds. And someone went on this very diatribe of like, if you're gonna do some crap like that, put it up front or put her which is like the whole point of it is it's got away and anyway, I just, I just responded to it not acknowledging that he was being a tick. So I just was like, Well, we thought it'd be different and that's why we didn't make it very long. So it really couldn't annoy anyone too much. And he's like it was a long Apology of Zurich came at you man had a bad day. I already knew that. There's no way you could feel this way. Isn't it interesting about how many how often do you think that those types of conflicts could be rewarded with a simple explanation slash mild apology? Well, something my dad used to say people are less often wrong and more often overstating their point. Yes. So sometimes if you just give someone a little credit on like, Hey, I see why you're not crazy for thinking that but um, yeah, that's a bit much. I think he liked the special a lot. So that's what he prefaced it with all that was like I looked I was like, Well, that's all I need to hear. Two minutes combined to stop. Alright, so remaining a topics are chores. Honestly, I swear, I'll give honestly I swear, shot whatever it means. All right, honestly, I swear starting with Adam. So Abraham Lincoln was known to be a pretty honest guy. Honest, as honest as they call them. In fact, when he got shot in that booth, like the first he didn't die, like immediately, but you know, there's a thing hit the back of his head. Bang. What what do you think was the curse word that came out? Like what do you think honest, Abe swore when he got hit in the head was it what do you think about like, you got hit head with the whole theater? Yeah, at Ford theater. I'm just thinking like, he had a curse that came out of his head. He's like, there's something that he said what did he say seen? I would guess it was better because I think it's gonna affect your speech getting a shot through the head. But But But I get what the at the root of the question is what I would be honest Abe's parish go to curse word. Yeah, I would say tarnation you think he was a tarnation? Guy? Our nation, he just seems like a torn nation wouldn't say motherfucker. But you know, it's true. He would say, you know, doing target was there an enhanced version of tarnation. Like if you're particularly upset. Now that Dagnabbit it might be a step up from tarnation. Alright, so we're gonna play two truths and a lie. So tell us three things about yourself. Two of them are true one is a lie. Honestly, I swear this one Yeah, I mean, I could I could pick a few things where he there's no way you okay, one I was I was born in Decatur, Georgia. Oh, it's one thing. Not a real place. No one was ever born. Another is I am an Aries. And another is. I ran an underground card game for three years. I'm pretty sure that card games true. But feels you feel like an underground card game kind of guy. No offense. Thank you. Yeah, it's a good thing. The Decatur thing is there's there's people are born indicator, right? I don't think so. I think I think it's a real thing. I don't know that many Aries would publicly admit to be an Aries. Yeah, that's the thing that really drives you crazy. I don't think Aries actually say that. I think there's I thought Virgo were the ones that were you know, trustful, untrustworthy. Oh, no, I'm not saying they're the Aries are untrustworthy. I think they're, they just like to keep it on the DL, that they're Aries. Alright, so I'm going to say that you are not an Aries. What did you say Jerry? What do you think? I feel like I'm at a disadvantage because I've known Andy for a longer time period. Okay, so you played in the underground card game? Maybe I'm not being asked to tell two truths and a lie. Okay. So yeah, I'm on the you're not an Aries. I am an Aries. Oh, okay. You were not born to cater, then. No, I was. Okay. When does Atlanta. That's right. That's right. Okay. Because at that time that you were born, I was also born in Atlanta, and nobody said anything. I would have seen the Atlanta. Yeah. All right. Honestly, I swear, we're not gonna ask any follow up questions about the underground card game. Oh, no, we keep that. That's why That's why it's underground. That's why I lasted for it was for three years. It's no longer happening. Because it was robbed while I was stealing it. And I had to talk a guy out of not killing all nine of us. Are you serious? Yeah. I had a gun to my head for five plus minutes. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh, shouldn't do that. Cool. It's an amazing story. Yeah. Crazy. It's a story of if it works out. Okay. It's a terrible story. If it doesn't, yeah. Yeah. So was this robbery from the rival card game? No, this was happened because there was a there was a rule that was we didn't really care if you did whatever drugs or whatever, but you can't meet up with any kind of drug dealer there. But someone did listen to that and got his weed dealer his that guy's cousin overheard them. It was a car game. They assumed it was like a huge money game or something. It wasn't like huge, but they I knew they didn't know they were what they were doing when they came in. Because they they all they asked for us to like empty our pockets and stuff. Which the money was in another room in a safe normally, but it's actually on my friend at the time, who just blended in with the wall and had, like $1,000 in his pocket smoothie. Yeah, I was pretty mad at him. Because I was supposed to not be there. But anyway. Yeah. Did he did the card games over when it gets robbed? Did you find $1,000? They didn't know he's wearing his breakfast. We needed to like reimburse people for their phones and stuff. Like, oh, man, that guy was smooth though. He kept it cool. This person I know, but he just shut up. I know people like that. You also when the white robber came in, he was in a hand with a guy and and just either push all in or made a huge bet. And that guy was sitting there thinking about it. And that's when we got robbed. And then after it all happened. And everyone's kind of stunned. Right? My friend just said, because you were folding you were folding. That's awesome. You guys just like whatever. What I don't know what just happened. I add a footnote after it happened. We were like, let's just get the hell out of here real quick. And we went to the other landmark. Yeah, it was we're eating it. And he's the only one with a phone or friend landed on the wall. It starts ringing we assumed it was our roommate that had run out when it started. Yeah. And it wasn't it was the cop and he said Get back here. Y'all going to jail. And when we got back there, there were two SWAT team bands. And then cops like all suited up with you know, well here 15 Ready to they assumed it was a hostage situation because the house was locked up and they had a roommate drawing a diagram of the house and stuff. Whoa. And then they saw that it was clearly like not just a friendly game, but they didn't care because they thought they might have to shoot somebody. Whoa, what a night. Yeah, pretty crazy. That's an epic night. Interesting. Yeah. So that was true. Yeah, that's a good one. All right, my turn. Yeah, honestly, I swear. All right. So give an example of a person who you were surprised to learn was a Swearer. Oh, this is definitely easy answer Brian Regan. No, not onstage obviously. The first thing he ever said to me, Dennis Regan, his brother was a little tipsy. And he was I'm not gonna say complaining but I don't know, bemoaning the he was worried about YouTube ruining comedy. And I didn't really understand it, but he was like, Oh, you too. Love it and then right then Brian Regan got in between both of us. He goes, hey, whatever this guy says. bulking or shit bucking. I was like, whoa that is a great place to stop this round of comedy roundtable with Andy Sanford brand new comedy special basket case. We'll be back with more of comedy roundtable right after this. Check out this clip from Andy. I went out drinking the other night and when I met up with my friends to go drinking they were all hanging out with this one dude that I had never met Dale which red flag right there. Don't hang out with Dales I've only met this one but you've ruined it for the rest of them. Obnoxious nightmare of a person could not stand to the point where I had to pull my friend aside. I was like, Hey, man, why are we hanging out with this daylight? And my friend goes Oh, yeah, he seemed like an asshole. But that's just Dale. Like, man, you just said what I said to you back to me. Like it was cool. He's like, Oh, I know. Dale is just that guy. Everybody hates them when they first meet him. You just got to get to know him. That's what everyone says about their friend. That sucks. If your buddy has a disclaimer, buckle up. That's the thing. I don't gotta get to know Dale. There is no payoff. To knowing Dale Dale is now Season Two of the wire. There's no reason to invest my time in Dale. Dale is my friend's friend. I just met him so I'm in that stage where I think he's an asshole. You think I'm good? I've never met an asshole thought man. This guy sucks. I've got to know what makes them tick. That's never happened. That's why we have friends of friends. They're cool. They be your friend. I love seeing people's faces just like fun. Am I a friend of a friend? We all learned somebody. comedy roundtable is back. Jamie Jamie and Adam our guest is Andy Sanford Atlanta based comedian but out actually fell on the calendar back up and yeah, good note there on the road. We got a remaining topic we'd like to use here chores starting with Adam. Oftentimes chores are seen as something that you avoid but is there a chore that you actually enjoy doing? Is there a chore that is the last thing you'd want to do in the house? I don't mind doing the dishes. Yeah, I'm actually kind of rotated Yes, I let these disgusting you know, right backed up dishes I'll say no, but the other idea is that it's something satisfying about actually being able to make something clean. Yeah, it is a task that you can accomplish and it's actually done yeah, the way I like the puzzle of fitting them in that I'm weirded out by people that are like the make your bed everyday people and that's like a big thing for them. Oh, okay. I mean you just gonna lay in it like who is that for? It's for you in a couple hours Yeah. Like that's That's some real bullshit yourself gets a terribly pessimistic when making your bed every day it's pessimistic or optimistic that someone is going to be in there and see it No, I think it's the you're making your bed and you're because you're going to lay and die before you come home that is done you don't want your people to be discovering a messy home I would say you put your own spin on that revealed something but don't make their bed because they're worried that they could die and someone's gonna say what's the Jamie at least made his bed? No I'm saying and when you make your bed Jamie made his bed you're checking out saying goodbye was so sad about Jamie passing but then I went to his house it was his was not a hospital corners. Some people write wills Jamie just makes his bed. No, it's the clean underwear of housekeeping. Right? For analogies I'm telling you I you think I'm wrong I'm telling you you I do not think people make their bed was associated with theirs like this video of a military dude. Yeah, can you make your boat though it certainly makes this case of how it's for the day. It's like wow, that's quite a stretch you've just put out there. I'll making your bed it really means that you'll become the successful person, also a business that when you're being called to perform your job, you may not be coming back to your bed. So I don't think I'm 100% wrong in my theory. Yeah. Can we start a business where we just go to people's houses and make their bed? I would love a mattress salesman. Well, how's your health looking? Yeah, that's good. It is the clean whenever I just was like selling bedding, you're like you want it? Yeah, well, then it's almost over. It's dying. By dying. You could soiled underwear. I was totally glossed over when people were giving you the advice. Hold on a second. So now you're saying only people who are going to die should wear clean underwear? Well, I'm saying when you were told when a mother or typically mom's like that's the cliche says clean underwear underwear on right? Because God forbid something bad happened. And they discover you in dirty underwear. What's actually happening? You will have dirty underwear. Which again? Yes, technically that is Mother's next and no, people need to promise I actually have a bit about this. So if you watch my special you will know all about it. See, no, you gotta pull it. I could literally see Jamie's girls walking past his room seeing a made bed. Good, dad. Oh, are you okay? Okay, so you okay? Just in case taking the glossed over exactly what I was saying. I'm saying I don't make my bed. I know. But I'm saying what the one day you do is probably because you're getting ready to die. No, we're still saying it's the uncertainty or like the German Shepherd who goes Oh, to die, you clean your you don't leave dirty dishes in the sink. Because if something happens to you, and Jesus might come back to your dirty dishes, right when they come to I think that's an act. I think there's a judgment out there. I see their judge clean their homes and do these things. Not for themselves, but for their judgments. Yes. Interesting. Okay, now that we're getting into something, that's I'm telling you I'm not It's not me. I'm saying that's the world I think you misunderstand what happens in your house when you die. It's not really like the public comes in and starts rifling Oh, that's what we did. Yeah, Home Tour. Yeah, this is what he was how he was living. This is what was gone I'm gonna start in the border. See what they look like. Yeah, here it is. This is all looks like he had half of a sandwich look at his dishes. Yeah. Didn't make the bed beds on made clear. He wasn't planning on dying a sink full of dishes, right? That's why people do that stuff. Stand on that. Okay, planning on debt, or it's like a judgment thing. Underlying everything they do is just in case not that they think about it, but it's just there hanging over them just in case hangs over. Everybody's subconscious. Yeah. All right. All right. So from amongst the animal kingdom, which creature would be the best at household chores and which would be the worst food? Any any animal? Rhianna? Any animal? Best and worse. Oh, well, it's got to be. Well, cats don't give a shit. But maybe it's their own stuff. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, I have to clean up after I'm trying. I'm thinking of what bird that is that always clean in there. Shit. Cleaning your feathers. I try to think of the fussiest animal hummingbird. I'm very busy. Alright. Yeah. And those are the cleanest those are the cleaners that I my logic switch to they seem like fussy like Mike my cousin Lisa. We call her the butler. She's always picking up after everyone so they seem like in the animal kingdom. That just always got to be doing something going fast that people that like your grab your drink that you're drinking. You're gonna Yeah, they're busy bodies. And the worst. Oh, the sloth right? Yeah, this law so slow. I don't know how much of a mess the sloth makes. I would say not too much of a mess right? I think the cat would be the absolute worst. Yeah, cuz they're rude and they need someone else to clean it up. Right and they'll just they would literally literally thought outside the box as far as shipping goes just because of this slop living in this really messy house God I wish it would take a while to that state. Border I'm just I wish I could get to those claws are very weird for just staring at the Digital those ditches so much I cannot get to them. Alright chores what part of the comedy business is most like a chore to you? Podcasting emailing all these for you gotta find a reason to emails. Sometimes you're like, oh shit, what am i What's my fake reason for reminding them that they book me. I have a new thing coming out. So whether that was coming out or not. I still would like to do. I would like to do the thing. Twice a year. Yeah. Please remember to book me. Yeah, remember me? You can't just be like, hey, remember? Yeah. Can we do that again? Like we did last year? That'd be cool. Yeah. Or that or have it when someone comes to you wants to book you and then you have to, in some tactful way, find out what it pays and what all the stuff that like, it's like, hey, yeah, you're wondering my gig. Cool. Details. And then then you gotta be like, Yeah, so what about that other gig? If you get to, you know, push you to them even though they came to you? Sometimes people were like, Whoa, hey, man, I'm gonna treat you right. Like, yeah, I wasn't accusing you. Yeah, right. mentioned. Yeah, he didn't say we made a couple grand the gig before that. We made 100. What's what kind of gig is this? When I heard a show in New York, I would like the first thing I mentioned this this page. This by the way, so yeah. I mean, because it's like it's not like it's my choosing what it pays. me it's like yeah, but But such a personal Yeah, I guess that's the chores. People's sensibilities and how much they comedies. You know, so many weird egos. No, absolutely. The chores dancing around that. I think dancing around yeah. Good way to put it. Yeah, sure. Dancing around. Around the Yeah, yeah. It's always a treat to get see it. You're very funny. Clever. I believe you had writer. Yeah, thank you. So for Jamie, Jamie and Adam. Our guest Annie Annie online at what's the easiest way? What are the I'm at Andy Sanford on pretty much pretty much Sen D F or D. All right. Very fun. I know you don't want to so social medias except for Instagram. Andy dot Sanford Sandy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Google me. I don't call come up like that. Alright, so for Jamie, Jamie, Adam and Andy. This is comedy roundtable here at the punch line comedy Club. We will see you next time for chair back where you found it and we will save one for you the next time. Don't regret not going to college. They got plenty of friends can't do anything with their degree. I feel bad for anyone that went school for years just to get a degree. You don't need to do that. You can make 110 minutes. I have a degree in graphic design. Is it real? No. It's really hard to tell. So I feel like I deserve it. I think that's fair. Yeah. I feel the worst of people that went to school, got a job in their field and found out since another dumb job like the rest of them. Like pharmacist, oh, my heart goes out to them. I spent all the time in pharmacy school just filling up well the instructions for medication on the bottle ringing up these Flaming Hot Cheetos I'm a doctor. It's cool. And it's sad and they'd be the only doctors that work at drive thru shift right? Just saying they don't do any doctor stuff like they can't even take your blood pressure was already a chair in the pharmacy. stole that job from them. Depressing. I think that's why pharmacists wear lab coats, you know be like hey, look, I am a doctor. No, I'm in the back. We're gonna register but doctor. You don't need a lab coat. You can count pills in a tank top. I've done it