CJ Marrinan (Recorded Live at the Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, Georgia)

Ladies and gentleman, comedy roundtable these are great questions. Yes, good comedian a math question. Really good question. Thank you. This is so much fun you guys. That is a good question. And that lightning round was so fun. That's a really good question. comedy fans con versation enthusiast it is a brand new episode of the comedy roundtable pull up a chair settle in. We have a great conversation for you this episode. Let's get this party started. Jamie Bendel Jamie, Hernan, Adam. Hey look at you getting in on the game. I appreciate that. Usually you're so negative about him giving me the big intro. I just figured people deserve to hear it in stereo. I didn't even know that our podcast was available in stereo. Yeah, it is actually. And actually, if you put the SAP button it's available in Spanish. We have saved a cheer for you our listener and we've also saved the chair here at the roundtable for our guest this evening. CJ Marin and thanks for having me guys. Welcome comedy roundtable. We are here in the landmark diner live from the punch line comedy club as we often our first show went great, great love this club. Good crowd. You know, great food to great service you everybody loves the diner. What percentage of clubs do you play and where you can get breakfast afterwards? Oh, 00 Yeah, a good breakfast zero. They'll throw together something for you. I was gonna say that almost anything can be breakfast if you want it to be. Yeah. Oh, I don't know that. I would say but breakfast food at actual dinner time. Yeah, no, it's a different story. I've done some hell gigs. You know, it's a you're lucky if you get a green room at some of these places. Just like they're like No, no breakfast. And I did. I did. I did a show. I remember one time in a bar during the game seven of Lakers. NBA Playoffs? Yeah, whoever scheduled it was obviously an idiot and not a fan because they scheduled the show literally in the middle of the game. So they turned the TV's off. Oh my god. And I mean, this is a bar half the people are there. 100% of the people are there to watch the game and then they're like, they cut the they cut the TV's off. And they're like, and now we have some comedy. Oh, boy, it's gonna go great. Isn't it comedy night every night at the Lakers now that's a lot of talent and no, in very early in my comedy career. Yeah, I did a gig in Alabama, where it was a membership club. And you had to pay a quarter to become a member. Oh, good. Actually, it was that kind of place. Yeah. And it was the night one of the nights where the Braves were in one of their first playoff runs. And the game was on a big screen behind me. Oh, still on. Stand in front of the Braves advancing in the first playoff run. Can you believe yours? That's horrible. It was a terrible gig. It didn't get their attention happy like please just move aside a little bit you got a slide right slide left depending on where the guy is slide you're trying to time your punch lines with big players in the in the game I think they're into my material. Meanwhile guys rope in a basement. Nothing to do with like I killed all right so comedy roundtable is basically the club anchored podcast Absolutely. Well we don't really do it kind of in a traditional fashion what we do instead is lightning round style questions. Awesome. So we are going to present to you three topics okay you need not pick them all yeah three categories you need not pick them all you get to pick one of the three got it then you get to pick one of the remaining two and the last one is unused and often Jamie tries to like revive his questions because he's he's really excited about one of his questions and the guest doesn't choose that one Okay, so you guys do not allow him to do all right you guys come up with these are these like right or wrong? You're feeling ready to give you right or wrong? What do you got? Yeah, there is no right or wrong. Is Justice right or wrong? There is right or wrong. Ellen are they talking about there is absolutely right or wrong? No matter what some others on this podcast might say? Yeah, there is no right or wrong. Well, LeBron James already hates me after that comment. You know, I know he's lookers you can they can say there's no right and wrong but you see those electrical wires going into that chair right. Oh, all right. Here are your choices. Three subjects you will pick. Only two done they are opposites attract, okay. History will show or underdogs Oh, history will show that pop out of me. History will show is our first lightning round question. Adam. Yes begins so we live in an interesting time now. Right? But I was I Oh was Wonder. Does everyone always think that they lived in historical times like this every whenever you're every generation? Do they always say like we live in interesting times? Yeah. So when we look 30 years from now, what how do you think now we'll be judged? harshly? Okay, I'm sorry. I would have to go off of that harshly. I think there will be no more doctors or lawyers or any kind of professions, just tick talkers. And you know, people dancing in front of the camera, I think in 30 years from now. Oh, yeah. I mean, we'll see, we might just get wiped off. That's the cure for cancer, like the particular dance. Yeah. Like yeah, if you do a particular mood, you imagine if that actually is the cure for cancer, though, and they're like, tick tock cures. These doctors like we've been breaking trying to cure this, but in the laboratory, $7 million on this, and this stupid, it comes out here and does three moves and suddenly she's she's lymph node free, our attention spans are so bad. You know, that's the only way doctors will be able to kind of give us diagnosis and tell us things that are going on. They got to stand in front of the camera and do like a little shoulder shake, dance and be like you have cancer. Actually Go home to your friends. And you'd be like, What did the doctor say? Which dance did he do? You have a cancer reveal party? Did you? Go Okay, so, all right. So cancer isn't something that we should be joking. However, if we're going to be discussing the way in which you should use humor in the face of a challenging diagnosis, like cancer, yes, then perhaps because when my own mother was, was dying, yes. We talked about instead of doing a memorial service, we should consider an eternity reveal party. That would be what did you do? We went to my mom's eternity reveal party. Yeah. Like we did. She came out she finally showed us what her eternity looks like. So that's what you would say. Yes. Judge i Yes. harshly, harshly, harshly. Again, I think it'd be incredible if some Tik Tok or just danced away cancer. All right, Jamie, just to you. History will show. Alright, so our question, so when all is said and done, history will show that CJ put what mark on the comedy world. Great, great question. History will show. Yes, that there'll be like, You know what, maybe we judge them in the beginning. But that guy that guy's a killer, Corona. I mean, that guy crushed and did it with a smile. We slept on that kid. We slept on that kid pretty hard. We love people sleeping on that kid so long. And then that podcast came out and that podcast came out and he discovered the cure for cancer and tick tock dances so he gave a theory that was later played out proved to be true kids friggin brilliant. Yeah, and funny as hell. Funny. Yeah, humorous. Now best friends with Lebron James. He gave us Ron Ron. He's okay with it. I love it. Alright, and the follow up question. The follow up question usually, here's always I like it. Follow up free wish to what age? Do you see yourself performing stand up comedy. I'm gonna be like Richard Pryor. Man, they're gonna roll me out there on a wheelchair. I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it till I fall up they're good. That's all I want to go out. You know? Attorney reveal party on stage. Ladies and gentlemen, this is my actual closer. I am literally about to die. This would be the last joke ever tell. That's it? Yeah, that's it. Ladies This is it. CJ the farewell tour. No, really? No, really? This is this is it? Tonight's the night on the stage with Jack and Coke. I'm going down. Guys. I like that. If a comic did die on stage, where would you put some sort of permanent memorial? I don't think so. Good question. I've died on stage multiple times. Yeah, I haven't gotten a single. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. No, I don't think so. Funny, like if a comic did die on stage, like not physically, but you know, in a comedic sense. Yeah. You put up like tombstones and be like, Hey, man, sorry tonight didn't work out for you. We're gonna go ahead and put a little memorial for you to work at actually that's actually the greatest add to an open mic show of all of the comedians that you have an In Memoriam segment of tonight who came up not that but just ruined actually mentioned that you were going to start doing that here. You should we'll take a picture. And later in the show, we're going to run it in memoriam segment for all the comedians remember him? He was up like four comics. It was pretty good. That was adorable. It's a wedding joke. That was terrible. Like the Oscars thing where they just just have their stage time up there like he did. Yeah. 8052808 would be great is if the opener died on stage and the headliner comes out with a black armband and a patch with the initials of the opener. That's all right, my question is the common comedy excuse, let's say is too soon. That is too soon. Okay. So then is the opposite of that is that history will show that all subjects are okay. Yes, yes. All subjects are okay. You know, I think that's the whole point of comedy. You know, you have to like you just have to get it a little deeper into the past. Yeah, well, no, I think I think it's a kind of never too soon. I mean, people will react. I mean, it depends on the subject. All right. So let's close this segment. And then we'll come back with your choice for the second of our Lightning Rounds. And we have you have a second show to do here at the punch line. I do. So we will be back with more of the comedy round table for Jamie, Jamie and Adam and our guest, CJ Marin, we will be right back. I personally, I want to start getting into commercial real estate. That's, that's what I really want to do. But I can't right now because all of my money is unfortunately tied up in my parents being alive. It's a waiting game. I love to copy I really do. The only thing I don't like is telling people that I'm a comic. Because they never know how to react. This is a true story. I told this person and I'm a comedian and they go, Oh, you do comedy. And tell me a joke. Funny man. made me laugh clown. Do something immediate. And I just had to stand there and be like, moss world there was one podcast that made all others look like some little part time, half baked ideas that should have been thrown in the trash can after being written down. That's a super long winded way of saying that drunk theory podcast is the best kept secret out there. Right now. There are a bunch of idiots talking about conspiracy theories. And when these four come together, they have the capability to solve just about any question coming their way. But keep in mind, they're idiots. So sometimes they won't have the answer. But we guarantee you'll end up laughing so hard you cry, or urinate in your pants. I don't make the rules here. So let Matthew Cara, Kelly and Ryan give you everything you never know you needed. And more. Only on drunk theory podcast available on all major streaming platforms, more conspiracies. Coming soon. Macklemore have comedy roundtable here from the punch line comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia recorded live at the roundtable in the corner of the land mark diner. Jamie Jamie and Adam our guest this evening is comedian CJ Maron in CJ things were going well for you. You've been busy. tiktoks exploding what you got going on in the socials spend? Great Yeah, tick tock people sliding into DMS left and rams all the time just firing off and I'm sliding back. You know what I mean? I'm sending it off. Protocol. Somebody slides in you slide back. Oh, yeah. You gotta run through the profile. Make sure that it's checks out legit. Yeah. Yeah. It's mostly just older gentleman asking for feed pics and things. Sure, sure. Once you get through once you get through that redirect, there's always a good one in there once in a while. Right. And what's the harm and sending feedback? Nothing actually, that's how I that's how I pay rent. That's right. Yeah, I didn't say I don't send them. I'm just saying that don't sleep on your feet now. All right. So we have already utilized one of the subjects for this evening, you have two remaining of which you can choose one those are opposites attract or underdogs. Opposites attract opposites attract up first is Adam. All right? The phrase opposite attracts I'm of the opinion that it's not true, right? That in fact, opposites don't attract. It's one of those things that kind of our rom coms have kind of tried to convince us that somehow like she hates him at the beginning, and they're gonna fall in love. I've never actually seen a successful like relationship and said, Oh, those two are complete opposites. Right? The opposites attract. So what I was going to ask you is do you believe that one opposites do attract in relationships? Or do you think that you try and find someone that you actually get along with I think, yeah, I think there's I think there's a case in point to it. I dated. I dated another comedian for a little while. And that was not fun. Oh, yeah. Because it was just too much. I thought you're gonna say it worked because you were a good comedian. Yeah, they were a bad comedian. No, no. Whoa. I'm kicking myself. Can we repeat that and then I can throw the old throw the table Yeah, it's that jokes. Yeah, it was bad. So now I date you know, unfunny women. Okay, it works out and it works out. Great. So you're actually you're proving the theory. Yes. That attracts Exactly. Okay. All right. Someone argue that Paula Abdul's 1988 classic opposites attract is the greatest love song of all time. Would you argue that? I would not two steps forward, I take two steps forward. I take two steps back. Yeah, we come together because opposites attract. We come to you know, in a fiction, just a natural fact. We come together because opposites attract. Yeah. So my question to you would that lead in? Is it Paula Abdul was elected President. Do you think that she could choreograph one great dance off between Republicans and Democrats and fix our toxic political climate? I would hope so. Because I'd pay to see that could you imagine I haven't Trump and Hillary just do like a tick tock dance off. How funny would that be though? I don't like debate format. I would sell it would cure cancer. Yeah, I was gonna say they'd suddenly cure Nancy Pelosi his husband want to get people interested in politics you cancel the debate format we Lip Sync Battle that's it should just like enough of the just the lying about you know all this stuff. It should just be a cop comedian roast battle between all of them I could see Nancy Pelosi coming out bigger yah yah yah yah yah yah yah yah and she's wearing the Britney Spears Oh no. Which one what? Because there's a follow up question of the Britney Spears outfits that are iconic. Which one would you most like to see Nancy Pelosi? School school girl won because she's got a big old swell puppy. Those things are hanging in the trunk comes out with his hair and he's doing like Elvis now who's wearing the red we think we're that far away from that. Really? Opposites attract. What is an example? In your life where same? repelled same repelled CJ, you take this one? Go ahead? No, you go ahead. No, I gotta think on it. Okay. Same repelled. Just tell us about his comedians. Yeah, I feel like I already use that one. I guess my parents are the same. They're part of a family and then they split so they were oh, let's get into what's going on? It sounds dark. But you know, parents were the same. Yeah. Couldn't get along. They no splitting up. That impact you? Yeah, they were like, we just want you to know that. Like, this is your fault. Oh, that. Right? Yeah, they were the same. We actually really love each other. Ever since you came around. It's just been hell. So and by the way, your shits not that funny. Like, hopefully this we're gonna do this for you. Because you're not funny. Now maybe this will kill. So were to go mom and dad, we've talked to mom and dad. Appreciate you. We've talked. You need material. Look, we're doing this for you. Okay, now, your childhood has been to claim it's ours. For our child, almost boring. Right? We will we will create conflict so that you have something to write about median of married parents who has that? Funny He's like, That's it. You want to support your career decisions. We're very much in love. We're very much in love. This is hard for us. It's hard for us. Yeah. It's hard for us. But that's how much we love you. By the way, feel no pressure to be successful now. Because you're you did break up our marriage. Right? Exactly. And yeah, we're not gonna give you two Christmases either. The most beautiful divorce ever. Yeah. And we waited. We waited until you were old enough that you didn't have to actually decide who you're gonna be with right and old enough to remember, really. And we wanted to be sure that you knew where I'm on. I don't have a lot of specificity about the circumstances of my parents breaking up. Yeah. We wanted we wanted we wanted to be a good chapter in that book, Good chapter in that book. Do you think that there were ever kids that wanted to be like a comedian from a very young age? And so they like the kid who had to go practice their clarinet. Their parents would be like, Go practice your stand up comedy, and they'd have to listen to this like, horrible stand up comedy. Just like you'd have to listen to the kid practicing the clarinet. Oh, God, probably. That's a no my family ever happened. And here's, here's, here's what I'm doing tonight. What you're saying is you're saying fam like parents sitting through terrible acts act. Love, right? Yeah. And then breaking up and then breaking up because they're like, We gotta do something. It has to do and here's why. And this is the this is the most significant difference. And then we're gonna have a conversation about no and and, and, and yes and no. And this is part of why we have to have the yes and lesson like twice a quarter those improv classes are paying. Yeah, yeah. You went reverse. I'm bringing you back. I went to run Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So so, so bad. comedy, is just calm. memorization. Yeah, it sounds like a Snapple bottle. It is bad conversation. So you have a child who's trying to be funny, but isn't. You wouldn't know that they were trying to be funny. Because go practice your comedy go in your room and practice your comedy you need to do 30 minutes of comedy before you go. Yes. Yeah, I come from my family. My family's my family is funny, and I was not funny grow and it was like they made me that's what that's where the trauma came from. I would tell a joke, they'd be like your Thanksgiving table rocker. Everybody's like yeah, like, do you ever get sent to your room to practice your comedy send myself to my room? Go to your room right now you listen to those records we bought you you don't come out to you have a punch line? Yeah, Harold bring the hook up with the tombstone. Get Carol get my belt. I can't listen to this. This is terrible. We're gonna smack the comedy. We do like to discuss periodically the sausage making part of the podcast right, right. And historically, for those who are maybe listening to this as their first episode, we are literally grabbing the comedians right off stage from their shows. Yeah, running them over into the diner doing the and then sending them back. Yeah, hey, by the way, this is your first episode. Welcome. Welcome. We have a ton but I say that because sometimes I feel like the guest gets the impression that this must be the first episode they're doing the way they're which they're reacting this clearly has the feel we are have 100 episodes Yeah, I'm still on La time I'm just I'm fried I'm trying to think that opposites attract question is still gonna be laying in my bed. I'm gonna be like David Yeah, how would I say that? It gets you Alright, so before we wrap this episode up, what have you got going on? What have you got coming up? Where would you like people to consume your content consume my content. You can see a lot on my Instagram and my Tik Tok which is at CJ Merriman, ma r r i n a n going to find a cleaner tag there. But shows coming up. We're going to be at New Brunswick Performing Arts Center on New Year's Eve two shows. So it'd be fun. Come out and drink some champagne and laugh with us. Well, we appreciate you being here at the round table punch line comedy Club comedy roundtable inside landmark diner in Atlanta, Georgia. Thank you guys so much for having me. All right, for a lot of fun. Jamie and Jamie or as we often say at Jamie, Jamie and Adam. comedy roundtable puts chair back where you found it. We will save one for you next episode. Talk to you soon. This is my impression of the writers for the movie Marley and Me. So it's a romantic comedy starring Owen Wilson. Jennifer Aniston they're newlyweds. They want to have kids. They don't know if they can stay adopted dog this dog gets in all kinds of high jinks but through it all teaches them unconditional love and patience. So they end up having kids and starting one big family. Oh no, no, that that's not the ending actually. So we want to do you want to tell him or I'll tell him we want to kill the dog. Yeah, and we want to show it to you don't want to hint at it. We want to show the whole thing so then we're gonna pan up as the dogs taken its last breath and we turn we see Owen Wilson's face. He looks right into the camera. And he says what do you think?