Comedian Marcus Harvey pulled up a chair to the Comedy Roundtable after a performance at the Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, Georgia. Episode topics include Sesame Street Lessons and My Dog Ate My Homework.
Marcus Harvey is a hilarious comedian and the host of Ghost Brothers and Ghost Brothers: Lights Out available through the Discovery+ app. If stand up comedy and hosting a television show were not enough, Marcus is also a master barber to celebrities around the world. Flip on the TV during the NBA finals and you will see his work in action (and you can even see his work on busts in the NBA Hall of Fame).
Marcus' Linktree: https://linktr.ee/themarcusharvey
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Ladies and gentleman comedy roundtable coming up on this episode. JJ, is there a podcast? Yeah, Jake and I got Cody wrapped how many rounds? Oh, I've been saying it the whole time. Yeah. All the time, once or twice? Once Okay, yeah. round table. I have the docs. I'm the one who knocks. Oh my god. Right. We have saved a chair for you our listener and we've also saved a chair here at the roundtable for our guest this evening. Marvis Harvey here we are at the comedy roundtable. Jamie, Jamie and Adam immediately adjacent to the punch line comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia landmark diner format of the show has changed since the last time you were with us. You are one of our early guests. Yes. Different format of the show. It's good to have you back one of the very few second timers friend of the show. You're officially how crazy is this that you guys didn't have to book me? I was just here. It's crazy. That Well, that's the benefit. That's why we do it next week. We're glad you're here because the guy that's sitting over there drinking the Martini was going to be our next bet and he literally just tasted the martini with a straw that lets you know he's in for a good time. Yeah. He's ready to party. format of the show is we present to you topics. You choose those topics they were not all of the topics will be used. You only choose the topics one at a time. Okay. All right. So your topics for this evening are Sesame Street lessons. Okay, worst song lyric ever. Okay, or dog ate my homework. You know, as crazy. I tried to use dog ate my homework, knowing that I was allergic to dogs. So let's go with that dog ate my homework, starting with Adam. All right. So the dog ate my homework is a situation where is usually used as an excuse not to have done something right, exactly. But every once in a while, I'm sure there was a kid whose dog actually did eat his homework. And the teacher was like, That is trite. Like, that's the worst excuse ever. Come on. So the question becomes, is there ever been a situation where you were being honest, but no one believed you? Oh, listen, I'm a barber. Okay, a husband. Okay. So you've been I'm a husband. Let me just go back. I made a husband you have told the truth and she told me the most outlandish truths. And they've come back scathed not unscathed. I mean, gave because she did not believe it. Right. But it was the truth. It was a damn sure. And she just didn't believe you though. Maybe because I've told other lies, but hey, not did not know. That case. Not case. Look out person I was I said no. Stop it. We got wine. Yeah, ma'am. Yeah, that's it. We had wine wine. Yeah, that's all we did. See how they looked at each other. They didn't even believe it. Damn it. Yeah, well, I believe it. Which now what? Now with that? Oh, now you go with the vocal. Yeah. And I'm telling you the truth is, that's exactly what his wife did when he said, I looked away because every time I look at you, you stare into my soul. And I'm trying to like, oh, he looked, he looked over to the map. He's looking for me for defense, I would actually say that. I would find very believable. A superhero whose power was uncomfortable eye contact. Oh, that was it. That's their only power you have to do. They don't break it. They don't break the eyesight. You got to take it a step further. They make the eye contact. If you break it. They defeat you. Huh? Right. So it's not staring man. It's not like exactly. Medusa there's a staring man. What if you okay, I don't want it Jamie told me not to get as distracted this episode as I've been in past episodes. So I have a question that I'm hoping to work back into. I think Jamie your question. Alright. So of course, as Adam said, The dog ate my homework is a typical excuse, right? It's unfairly given canines the reputation for being anti education. I think for far too long. So that ends tonight. Stop so we dogs don't fuck with homework. Now. They do not know they would eat your homework. Why would they do that? Dogs can eat a lot of things in the house, but they choose to eat your homework that lets you know, they rockin with it. They they're not working. They're not rocking with hard work. That's right. Because they want you to have fun. All they want is your happiness. They just want you happy. But and we all know what's the cat. What would anybody is destroying the homework? It's the cat. The cat would spit up your homework because it doesn't keep anything. No, no. It's like hairball. Yeah. So you could report it back. Actually, remember when I told you that the cat ate my homework? Actually, I got here we go. Here we go. Good news. But the question the question I have is, what would the cat do with the homework? I don't think the cat would eat homework I think the cat would do something more mischievous or conniving cats are Listen, cats are probably the most strategically petty creatures on earth. Yes. I think cats would change your answers. They wouldn't eat the homework. They would just change your answers eg Klee Petey would like to see? Yeah, not be right, right. I think a cat would actually get an actual eraser to change your answers. Right? I can see a cat. When you think about it, like the strategically any animal, there is no more strategically petty. No, no, I was just thinking like in the entire animal kingdom. That's pettier than a cat. Yeah, no, no, no animal is more petting a cat. There's cats and ghost. Those are the two most petty things on earth. You think ghosts are petty ghosts are so petty they stay on Earth to let you know that they were wrong that they died. They want to keep keep telling you. They want to keep their house. My house. Did you hit the ceiling? Did you hit that work? Actually, you see how petty these ghost ghosts are? That's the first paranormal experience we actually had. So I actually would trust a cat to do my homework. Because I would have figured they've taken algebra nine times. Very good. The night that is the best dad joke. I should write that down. Right. I'm not sure that no, no, that boy brothers do that. We're brothers do that. Extend the boy. Oh, that's a good one. Boy. That joke right there. That was it. That's a dad joke. That joke that's fully formed. I mean, that came out like a cocoon. Like it was like a hungry Hungry Caterpillar. eaten all that. This was it. Swans, swans, another animal that's even close to what's the Okay, so it's just cat. I think squirrels are petty. No, I would say squirrels. I don't think I think but no, that's. That's it. And strategic planning? Yes. That's long term. Yes. Squirrels should be your actual investment advisors. Yes, yes. Oh, yeah, absolutely. If I was starting an investment company, I will call it squirrel. Okay. Squirrels are going to embezzle from you. Because they're gonna go hey, you're right. They're going to take money out of somebody else's account. Oh, steal from the bird feeder. The problem is look, they may take it from you. But to get it back, you just shouldn't their cheeks just comes right back out. And when the government comes back, zap my calling out of your mouth rages chip to chip in embezzlers. That's why they had a plane. I never thought of that. Chipmunks afford a plane. I didn't ship it the other four because they were embezzling because they were stealing people's money. You know what, you know what are adorable? They were actually they were actually drug runners, or the Colombian Colombians. And they were embezzlers because they had a mixture of the two little did people know that the Rescue Rangers were based out of Miami. They're constantly running adventures in random places. Yeah, so it's never the same route twice. Can't be tracked. Da has no idea. Oh my gosh. Did we just find out that Chippendale Oh, Colombian drug runners and invent oh my god, I don't want to be this conspiracy. But I will point out I don't know which one of them. One of them's nose is pretty red, like oh, it strung out. Dell does a lot of testing the product. He's the one he's the one in the actual shirt. Not the one no eight. The one in the in the in the bomber jacket. He's the one who's lit all the time. All of my memories associated with chipmunks is Alvin and his brothers. Chippendale was drug runners. I think they were under investigation. That's why they that's why they lay low for them. 30 years. Yeah, it was hot for a while. He's got hot. Too hot. You get too hot. You live in Miami. You got a bomber jacket and a hat. Second adventures wearing such good nuts. Well, we talk too much attention to get nuts. Not just metaphorically. Yeah, Chip. calm us down. You don't fucking talk to me like that. Yeah, I read this. Yeah, it's that high pitched Yeah, unless you're it's because they're their docks, I'm the one who knocks Oh my god. Right. He's the one who knocks. If we could all individually just record I'm gonna just record each of us saying Allegedly. Allegedly. First of all, I actually don't know that you have to say allegedly when referring to cartoon characters. Alright, dog ate my homework. Okay, gotcha question. Yes. All right. You are also Barber. High level Barber, the highest you have had significant responsibility as a barber. Yes, yes. Okay. Is there a truth that you cannot tell to one of your clients? Never. You are always truthful. Recode actually my wife is not going to when you say my dog ate my homework this is going to be an instance in which my wife won't believe this is my dog ate my homework right here. Right living. I'm living with did a podcast. I did a pocket a podcast. That's why I recorded Jamie diner at the diner on Sunday and 30. Yeah, well, I'm braiding your doors there. Okay. All right, great spot to stop this segment. We will be back with more of comedy roundtable here at the punch line comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia. Our guest was pleased on what time it is. What time is it? Okay to put that in there. Just want to put that in there. We're gonna provide the raw, unedited copy of this book as to market so he can verify he's not mine. We can do an audio message to your wife. We will be back we're back with more of Marcus Harvey and Jamie Jamie and Adam. Right after a couple of beds for markets for that'd be like 245 Yeah, what do we get back there? Christina? This is Jamie from comedy roundtable. Please excuse Marcus from being home on time. We stopped him as he was trying to leave. And we said can you do our show? And he says but my family was no pleased. We said look, we need you please for the roundtable. Do you find crime podcast to be a little too murdery then take a break from all things heavy and get petty. Join us Amanda and Trevon as we share killer facts dreadful dilemmas until real life petty crime stories in the style of an audio drama. They're spread all over the aisle floor and eight display wigs was a fresh pile of poo. Listen to live laugh, larceny on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back with more of the comedy roundtable we appreciate you listening to this episode. Of course you can check out any of the comedians that will be at the punch line comedy Club punch line.com We also encourage you to encourage friends to become subscribers and listeners of this podcast comedy roundtable. We are in the landmark diner right now with our guest Marcus Harvey one of the ghost brothers I'm a ghost Detective Detective of ghosts I'm a ghost ghost working on that title right it's a title it's we're working on it yeah they may not say ghosts but ghost investigator ghosts. Current episode airing now on the Travel Channel discovery plus one of the top shows on Discovery Plus app altogether. You can see most of our series we have several series we have ghost brothers proper where we have two seasons of that we have ghost lights out to two seasons that we have fright club with Jack Osborne two seasons of that first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club. No first rule by free club is that you tell everybody talks about fight club. Are you are you ever on also on Discovery plus is HGTV Are you going to do a crossover episode with Ghost brothers On Property Brothers? I'm trying to do every crossover one I'm trying to be Allen Iverson out here on Discovery plus crossing everything over breaking and breaking ankles breaking ankles I like it yes dead earlier we had a paranormal experience as and it's gonna be interesting if it even shows oh it should oh no it's gonna show because there was a paranormal the ghosts were trying to talk to a city you think ghosts follow you on Instagram? No no ghosts banned because ghosts usually tied to sites or can they just like come home with you? Are they tied to like website so like wherever they are location location because my searches are tied to location Diana house stay in the house die in a car stay in the car typically they're connected to location land yeah articles furniture things of that nature but a particular ghost that you've interacted with could they say you know I want to go see Marcus perform at the punch line I invite them Yeah, I asked them before we get in Hey, if you guys are gonna come in tickle somebody a little bit do you say anything about touch the ball to make things sound because that's just happened see for me to say that I I am a ghost trainer would be disingenuous goes trainers too much that's way too much. I'm a I'm a friend to ghosts friend to go so whatever it goes want to do to show themselves when I'm around. I allowed so let me ask you this your ghost experience than I am. Yeah. Do you have to acknowledge the existence of ghosts for ghosts to be Effective, you have to be looking or focus on the atmosphere that you're in to recognize that it goes there. That could be goes here. I why we had something like the joint. So so if I was a non believer and ghost it would be harder for me to have a paranormal, paying attention because I'm not I'm not but if I'm highly attuned to the presence of ghosts, then I might see ghosts everyplace. Yeah, if you're a freak, you're gonna see a freak. Come on, now you know about it. So it's like you drive a Toyota Camry. You're gonna see Toyota Camry. You're gonna see every time you say I want to buy a new Audie lousy blood every every time. Well, everybody's got one. How did everybody Miss Johnson? Same thing, same thing when it comes to ghosts when you start being like, maybe I want to go look for ghosts. Everything's just starts a whole new world. Don't you dare close your eyes. All right, our remaining subjects our worst song lyric ever. Or Sesame Street lessons. Sesame Street lessons. I'm a PBS Kids So alright, that's your choice. Alright, Sesame Street lessons starting with Adam. So one of the songs that came out of Sesame Street was Who are the people in your neighborhood? Right when you think about the neighborhood you grew up? What were the people in your neighborhood and do you remember any specific characters from your neighborhood? Yes, there is my friend. Yeah, we bow so boom Pantone Pantone to Novato bom bom panto Allah Thank you Gwinnett County. Okay, aka Loma Heiko. Okay. When I say I saw nothing but camaraderie because I lived in a townhouse strip right. I don't even remember his name. He was literally my neighbor to my left. His family bought the next three townhouses. Oh, connected them. I don't know if they broke the wall down or so. I don't know if they could have walked I stole cable from them. I will say that. Okay. You will say that I will say that I still cable for our whole neighborhood our whole block for at least five years of my life from the adjacent one or did you have to go all the way over sometimes? Sometimes their cable was down and I go get the cable box box. Right. The actual box? Yep. This is that's your limitations. Wait. You're a lawyer. Can I get trouble for this? No. You looked around the crowd. Okay, cool. I sold millions of dollars worth of cable cable. Yeah. When I was 12 years old, Allegedly. Allegedly, allegedly because that's what we know now. Yes. Allegedly. I still through they rent those three houses or so it was like seven. Oh, they had they had three of them. We had one. My other neighbor on the other side. And then I had another neighbor who made bread. Amazing bridge. Sarah and her husband. Great. Sara Lee. Sarah. It might have been Sara Lee. She was low key. A work is over have some bread. Yes. I'm a little fat kid with titties. Yeah. Loved it. Free birthday free bread. She put it put in the foil. Yeah, my mama didn't even know that Sarah had delivered the bread because I had already ate the bread. Adam went to prep school with the sunbeams. I did. Are you serious? Yeah. Our the sunbeams. Were they kind of they had a lot of bread. They had a lot of bread. Oh, I liked that. I liked that. Another dad joke. He's on the row. The money became ready to roll Did your mom keep wondering why Sarah kept giving you empty tinfoil? No, Sarah knew why she was good. She saw my body shape. She's gonna get to my mom. She didn't give me two like here's one for the road. A little boy likes bread. Alright, Sesame Street lessons. So Sesame Street was missing a key element. Okay, a villain. And so if you were writing the next season of Sesame Street, what sort of villain would you add to the show? And I do have a follow up question. Oh, it'd be a landlord. Oh, a landlord. It'd be a landlord. It'd be like his name be Jeremy Jeremy the landlord. Yeah. evicting Big Bird and he will be he'll be doing things like putting late fees on Big Bird raising kids to stay in this alley. He will be he will be an HOA guy. Oscar. sesame's HOA meeting. Oh my gosh. Jeremy. The landlord to get rid of all the squatters he Oh, my ghost. I told you. I told you. They're my friends. What are they saying? They say that's a good one. That's what they're laughing they're laughing I've never heard the premise of Jeremy the landlord. squatter Big Bird. Get this nest. Get it out of here, dad here the count. Whoa. Do three three days late. Actually, the cat would be Enforcer. Yeah, you will. Five Big Bird. He's open your eyes. Like wow. I follow up question. Okay, follow up question. Got a follow up question from the landlord, who would win in a street fight between the characters from Sesame Street and the Muppets animal looks very loose. Yeah, we'll always because he was a drummer. Yeah. Animal. It seemed as if he always did a line before there was absolutely so I don't think anybody would have been able to hurt him from Sesame Street. I think that the Muppets is the bizarro universe Sesame Street because all the characters lineup. Okay, Sesame Street last question. Sesame Street lessons. Yeah. What was the most important lesson that you learned as a child that you still apply today? Okay. Yep. And this is now that as a as an adult as an adult? Who's gone through therapy. Yeah. Having children of your own having children of my own have a spouse who knows how to listen to a spouse. I know how to be vulnerable. Yep. Right. He's still doing a podcast at 10:50pm 1052. Tina, because he tried to play me. Yeah. Tina is too tempted to to not me to cheat you two minutes. I tell you that. I'm telling you. I'm on the way. I love you. Woman. Not on the way yet. But Tina, I'm not on the way. Yeah, that's bad. That's bad. Because we're honest with you. They want to be honest and upfront. Yeah. I'm not on the way we're still. I'm winding down. Around 20 as a comedian would say. We're getting to one more thing. One more thing. One more thing. One more thing. I'd like to know life lesson is be accepting of the people who move near you no matter what. Yep. Because they're all just trying to live a good life like you. Nice. If you look at Sesame Street, it was a very different, diverse group. diverse group. You had animals. You had homeless people. You had gay people. You had old people, white people, white people. You had maniacs who were on crack cocaine. You had that newscaster that came in? He'd never said anything important ever, which lets you know about fake news. They were trying to tell us about fake news. They were already talking about it possible. It's Sesame Street time travelers. This has been a enjoyable episode. What do you got going on this year? Do you have any current clients that might be in the finals? Or will they ask you if they want finals? I 13 years straight in the finals. Oh, nice. I'm gonna beat LeBron in that. Don't go in the Basketball Hall of Fame then I am. You are has one of your has somebody who is getting their bus done for a while. Grant Hill and Chris Webber for the for their bus. So your haircut that's in the hall? Yes. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. That's crazy. And you just brought that up because I didn't even think about that. Yeah, you gotta make sure your kids know about that. So when they go to the hall you're worried no one's going to be preserved forever. Yeah, no matter where you go forever can't take that away. They shouldn't charge you admission it never do. Alright, so one last question. Yeah. I don't know if you want to put this out there. I don't but it's there. At 11am I live in peace there one person out there. That is your sort of elusive get to get into the barber chair that you want to cut their hair. Yes. And I and there's no disrespect in it. There's no disrespect, right. But I want to cut Kevin Durant's hair, get him in. If he's the greatest player in the world. He deserves the greatest hair cut cut that matches the Hall of Fame haircut. Are you just talking about NBA or just anybody? Anybody? Anybody? Okay, anybody? The most elusive cut right now that I want to cut is Obama rock. And I want him to grow his beard out get that thing crazy. I want I want Dave Letterman but like oh my like James Harden. You know what how flower make Obama look with a fade. And a really big bushy silver beard. Talking, solving some problems solving world problems with a fresh fade. Oh, vote for him again. No. goes away. We'll change his name after that cut to Larry Jackson. Oh, I don't know why it was a little bit out of the blue. Larry Jackson made me know everybody loves everybody. It's hard to objective. You sound like Obama. Crazy. How much you sound like Obama? Isn't? It kind of favored them around the eyes or you? Beard? Isn't the Larry Jackson. Yeah. Is it the I don't know what it is. I would love to get killed by Mark sorry. So how would you make that happen? What's the what's the plan? Keep till I keep talking about it in podcast and you never know. And you never know. You might be listening right now. Right? That's right. It's great to be here with you. Appreciate you being back, man. Hopefully we'll see you again before too long. Yo, can we do a ghost brothers show here? Absolutely. You know, like, you know how many people your people and this is not me being racist? Yeah. I just want to look him in his eyes. I'm saying your people. That might have been racist. The second time I said the second time, Phil said because you said it's not racist. I just appreciate it. Your focus was just on James. Yeah, because you guys are good. Yeah, obviously People these people a they love ghosts brothers they do. It's because Brothers live. We'll set this What have seats it out here, right? Yeah. Seats out here. Yeah. But so the monitors will have a detector thing eams T detection, even more lights will go out. Although it's phenomenon. I liked it. I liked it. You almost knew it though. Thank you. I like that. Almost done. All right. So for Jamie, Jamie and Adam and our guest this episode. JJ. JJ the podcast. Yeah. JJ. No. Go comedy roundtable. Oh, I've been saying that the whole time. Yeah. The whole time. Once or twice? Yeah. And you didn't throw it in once? Yeah. round table. Alright, for Jamie, Jamie and Adam and our guest comedian Marcus Harvey. Check them out. I'll call ya JJ. If you want to. Okay, cool. Okay. Okay. Now you can go back to me. Yeah, you check him out in brand new season of ghost brothers, which is available on Discovery plus and see him and his work both at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusetts. Yes, you're in a playoff series. Here you were comedy club for David JVM and Mark is putting chair back where you found it. We will see you next episode about it here though.