Comedy Roundtable

Milo McCabe (Seen on TikTok, YouTube and across social media as Troy Hawke of the Greeters Guild)

March 16, 2023 Milo McCabe / Troy Hawke Season 9 Episode 97
Comedy Roundtable
Milo McCabe (Seen on TikTok, YouTube and across social media as Troy Hawke of the Greeters Guild)
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Show Notes Transcript

You know him as Troy Hawke of the Greeters Guild on social media, but get to know the man behind the compliments, Milo McCabe, who pulled up a chair to the Comedy Roundtable virtually from the UK, his base of operations for his stand up comedy and online video creation.  Milo took time out before departing for a tour in Australia.

Milo McCabe is the creator of Troy Hawke, through whom the viral Greeters Guild series was born. As well as surprising the Manchester City Team, Peter Andre, Naughty Boy and various other celebrities with off the cuff compliments, he has been performing full time on the comedy circuit (domestic and international) for the last ten years and has won several awards. His 2019, 2021 and 2022 tours have all sold out as well as his last two Edinburgh runs.


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Ladies and gentleman comedy roundtable coming up on this episode, did he try and get you to do it when you're a kid, and then she was there and then cover your face and it's blood, you cried, and you're like this isn't for me, I think Biden would have to have a club or some kind of knife or something, you're happy to hunt by the side of a road or in a parking lot, because you just don't want to do any cardio. As you can see, by my size, I avoid cardio at all. We have saved a chair for you our listener and we've also saved a chair here at the roundtable for our guest this evening. ILO McKay, but normally we are recording at the punch line comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia. But we are doing this off site in our regular studio because our guest is joining us today from a different time zone. Welcome to the show. Milo. Thank you for having me, Jamie. Number one. I want to jump in right there and argue for the number one spot. I don't know how I ended up number two. It's simply by the timing of the voice he's giving Jamie because he was the first was introduced first. Appreciate you joining us today how things been going pretty well. Yeah, good, busy, hectic, no complaints that no one wants to hear just just complaints about being busy and tired and all that. Else. You're touring all around the UK right now. I'm touring around the UK. I'm about to go to Australia for two months. And I'm bringing my family with me. So we've got two daughters nine and six. And we got them off school, because we argued fairly accurately I think that it would be a formative experience for those two to go around the schools. The schools were like Yeah, sounds great. Bring them so we're gonna go on a family holiday for two months. Wow. For holiday for them is work for me because I'm doing like old comedy festivals. But yeah, it's playing about. Alright, so our format here on comedy round table is we ask lightning round style questions. Oh, shit ready? Yes. All right, let's go on right up your alley? Milea. Don't you worry. All right, we are I will tell you all three of the topics, you only choose them one at a time. One of them does not get used. All right. Okay. All right, your choices for this episode, our mystery box, fight or flight or out of ink. I'm gonna go fight or flight fight or flight. Alright, excellent choice starting with Adam. So we've had discussions on on earlier podcasts about what would be the best skill to have in an apocalypse, right? The best would it be to be an arms guy would it be to be a you know, the guy who can farm the guy who, and we've come to the agreement that being charming would be an incredibly good skill. But the word Machiavellian popped in my head, right? If you don't have to do anything, you just have to be able to convince people to give you their shit, basically, right? Point. Because as every Apocalypse series and show, nobody trusts each other. So you just got to jump over that hurdle. And then you can become whatever you need to be this character though. Troy Hawk, who is a very charming individual, but every once in a while comes up against people that are asking him to leave or asking him, you know, kind of get into an argument with you. Why does charming not work in all situations? So what you're referring to is when I do the videos, and basically I'm able to deploy my charm to passers by, and it's fine, I can give them a compliment, they always take it, I've been hit, and one of the managers come out, yeah, and I represent a set of variables that they haven't encountered before. So that immediately puts them on the back foot. And they immediately it's a kind of an inherent xenophobia. I don't understand what this is. So therefore, it must be a threat. And I have to remove it immediately. The only time it hasn't happened was in Denmark when a shop manager came out and said, What are you doing? And I said, I'm greeting people and he said, Okay, so you know, nobody is the only store manager that's that's applied logic. They come out they don't know what's going on. They just go straight. This is a threat that has to be removed instantly. So is the apocalypse is happening is the first thing you do to go get the smoking jacket. Here's here's the thing, I am the worst liar ever. Like I'm very good. You see that like the traitors show? You're like, well for mafia wherever. I am a great villager. I'm a great I can't like shit. So I if I were basically my transferable skills, what are they? I mean, I'd have to approach a community. And I'd have to say, look, I don't know what this is worth, but cuz I've got a tight comedy our, everything kind of fits and ties in. And I can just stand on that bench and do it in front of all of these topping angry people. So you're gonna be the court jester? I believe it is in bread. Yeah, that'd be perfect. I think they're gonna say, you know, we're full of prepper assholes in here. And we actually need somebody that we would like to spend time with. Right? So you said that you are a terrible liar, though, does that mean that in all of your videos, every compliment you make you believe true to the core on mean it, I mean, it all like what I'll do when I'm being Troy, I'll try and put 100% of my attention on to whoever happens to be coming up, or whoever I'm locked in on. And I'll look at everything. And I'll just try and put everything on them. It's actually quite tiring. And then I'll try and sort of pull something out of what I'm seeing and throw it back at them. Right? Because that would be important for people. Because if I have a comedian give me a compliment. My first thing I'm thinking is, are they mocking me right? orgasm, right? Here's the thing, Jamie, a stroke to stroke B. Nobody knows. I'm a comedian. Even the people that come to my live shows, the vast majority of them. Do not know that. I'm a comedian. They just think I'm the greatest guy. They don't know. I've got like 15 years of comedy experience under my belt, which which in a way is a good thing, because the bar at my tour show they come in. And if I literally greeted these people for an hour, I think I'd be like, Well, yeah, what do we expect? Do you agree people at the door for your show? I sometimes, but some of the venues are getting too big now and I can't Alright, Jamie, fight or flight. Tell us about a time in your life when your fight or flight response got it terribly wrong. Oh, gosh, loads. So I remember. I was a university and I was at university in the 90s. And it was lad culture. So everybody really prides themselves on if not being tough presenting a kind of a Laddie toughness, for example, and we were walking back and I went to university and Liverpool. And some lads started like it was a group of us about three or four. Some lads stage shouting at us, there was a bit of anti student feeling at the time. And I think I shouted something funny back, this guy sort of stepped across the road to come at me. And I just, I just fucking dusted I was I was heels and smoke. And you think, yeah, fair enough, but not in the culture. I was at university because then you get a name for yourself. And you're that guy that cut and ran away. And these guys didn't do anything. They came up and they sort of fronted up to my friends and my friends fronted up back to them, and nothing was ever gonna happen. But in my mind, all those alarm bells went off. And I was like, and I just dusted I absolutely got out of there. And my name was mud at uni, but you didn't make the track and field team, right? Yeah. And that's why I started going to boxing because I was like, I can't can't have this happen again. Yeah, I can't. It's just a pathetic male ego thing. I do think, though, that in any good fight, the cutting runner is an important position. Like, I wish I had a guy like you again. Can you take our stuff and go, we'll meet you back at the house. And then we will we'll stay here. But we'd like to know that our phones and our keys are in our wallets are all taken care of. I remember another time where it happened. I was a bit drunk. So I was a bit braver and I think I had all this suppressed rage from all of my previous running away from these things. And I pretended that I was from Glasgow, and there's something inherently terrifying about the Glaswegian accent. Now the risky thing was that this guy was also Scottish. So it was a really high risk strategy, but I got away with it is like, I can't remember what he said to me. I think something about me being gay, and I was like, who you call and gay, Paul. He called me good. Where are you fit? I'm envious anyway. Oh, shorty, I don't know is there I know, blah, blah, blah. And I was just I was very high risk. But I was like, alright, that works. Just fine. I guess. What would be the equivalent accent in the states that would make people go oh, Detroit. Yeah. Or New York like a Brooklyn Right? Like Brooklyn. A hard Brooklyn accent? Detroit sounds we're gonna problem here. You stupid milk. We're gonna we're gonna throw down. This is what's gonna happen. You and me. We're gonna do this. Yeah. All right. So fight and flight is the famous phrase, but the other famous fighter pairing is love. Yeah, I'm a lover or a fighter. So this is kind of a two part question. The first is, does it mean that all lovers are fighters. Not because fight or flight it's like an innate lizard response. It's like a lizard brain thing. It's just what lover or fighter is a choice? Yeah. Okay, when with lover you may be disrobed. So love might be naked. suppose for the sake of argument that fighters were naked, yeah. Would you fight an aroused fighter? Am I Jamie, number one for you now? Yeah. Let's go back to Jamie. Oh, just saying I think in a fight or flight response, I would run from the guy who wanted to have a fight and was aroused while doing it. That was such a tenuous segue. I have a big question. Let's go to heavy question. I have a big question. No, no, no, no, no, let's stay with whatever strands of logic were there? Would I fight someone who was aroused? Somebody says I'm a lover or a fighter. Right? It implies that you're one or the only what I'm saying is, I love fighting, I would want to avoid the person. Because I think evolutionarily it describes you can either be only one or the other. You can love or you can fight. Right? And that your body isn't built to do both at the same time. Is your thinking always this black and white? Oh, it's always this gray, actually may end the fight not because you want to avoid it. But because that's a form of flattery. And then you realize that maybe you you aren't as No, I would think enemies is about to engage with an anomaly of evolution. Yeah, this guy who loved fighting No, no, the fact that was able to do both at the same time, because normally people don't think like, oh, I'm about to be in a fistfight. This is kind of turning me on. Oh, let me let me try and pull something out. There's Yeah, so one thing I will say is that, I don't know if you you know, but as soon as you had a fight with someone in primary school, the only way you could get you ended up best friends with them. Right? I don't remember this, because you've seen each other at your most primal. So someone's like, you've got nowhere else to go. But be friends, you, you can't really have pretense or small talk when you've been rolling around on the floor with someone trying to, you know, scratch their eyes out or whatever. We're talking about evolutionary anomalies. And also, as soon as you fought with your partner, when you make up, it's just like, but the days are separated. That's what I'm saying is the activities aren't existing in the same space, the fight space is distinct from the love space. You think, because I think you fight harder with the people that you love. I think your family and your closest people have access to that big red button, they know exactly the right thing to set you off, turn you into the worst version of yourself. I've always thought that like in a bar fight. One of the scariest things would be if the person kind of leaned in and said, I'm so gonna love this, right? That would be like going all in like, like that would be if that were a bluff. That would be a tremendous bluff. Yeah. To be like, I'm going to love this I enjoy this so much. This is by ng Ah. Okay, so I'm trying to salvage so in a pairing, right, opposites attract, but in a relationship lovers and fighters seem like a poor match. Okay? Well, my thoughts on that is like, when you're in a relationship you've got, you've got to fight, argue, because you gotta, you gotta like, work out where each other's boundaries are. And if you've got someone who's running away from every situation, or conflict, they're never going to set their boundaries. And they might not have an argument. But then five years later, they just split up because of a lack of, you know, authentic communication. So like, when I got together with my wife, she'd never had an argument with the boyfriend. And I'm very sort of, you know, let's get this out on the table and process it. So it was a bit jarring for her at first, but now we're at the point where we, we will have like an argument heated discussion, but at the end of it, we'll kind of resolve what the issue was, or we'll, we'll get to the nub of it. And so you have to have those arguments is my opinion. Let's lock out this first segment here on the comedy round table with our guests. Milo McCabe we'll be back with more right after this. Do we have any teachers hit? You, you get impostor syndrome where Daniel costs you to your teacher, good lord, every day you have to go in mindful of the fact that one wrong word, one wrong foot, you could say something to one of those gentle, malleable minds that could psychologically damaged them for the rest and not only damage them damage, their sense of self damage all of their future relationships. Just one tiny thing you could say to spiral them off into a psychic vortex of negativity. You have to be on point every day and I imagine the worry about that keeps you awake some nights would that be accurate the reason that you have impostor syndrome is because you're good at your job. Do you understand that? The fact that you're analyzing and questioning yourself makes you good at what you do to do was not good at their jobs. People leave work every day. Smash the grin out of that one. Not go to their jobs, but they do end up running the country. You've got a trolley Can I direct it this way into Prisma? I know are symbols of triangles. But I can assure you we have nothing to do with the Illuminati. Or Palo. They're fun shopping or functional shopping. School. I love you harder. You're coming into Prisma Oh, wonderful. Not put off by the triangles. Good for you can are all coming in. Fabulous. You have a wonderful color scheme, sir. You are the finished Larry David. And we are delighted to have you in this store. Not many people can pull off double denim. But you are smashing it. You're the Marlboro Man after he's given up. I love it. I told you you had a wonderful color scheme. So does he and you both match each other? What uh, of course, I hope you have a lovely day. Thank you very much. So you've got me out of my head. Oh, there's wonderful sometimes yes, I'll say the thinker's with our washing machine brains. Welcome to plasma, we sometimes need a moment to remind ourselves. So the rewards of being in the present. Welcome to prisoners. Grab your trolley, get in there and smash it. Yeah, of course. Thank you very much. I think you might be on it. Alright, second segment here of the comedy roundtable. Our guest this episode is Milo McCabe, we had a segment that I wanted to take flight from from the awkwardness of question. And which one of the seven questions it was, I was I was fighting my way out until I decided it was time to take flight. Stop. Good. All right. Your remaining topics for this episode are either Mystery Box or out of ink. Well, I mean, to be honest, out of anchors is essentially a mystery box anyway. Right. So I'm just gonna go for Mystery Box Mystery Box starting with Adam. Okay, so my Mystery Box is is who do you think would win in a fight? And I'm taking your Prime Minister Sunak. And Joe Biden, who wins in that fight? Oh, I've seen that Joe Biden is the oldest fireclay hours. Yeah. Unless there's, I mean, I feel like with Biden versus Senate that have to be sort of conditional elements to sort of even up a little bit like, I think Biden would have to have a club or some kind of knife or something. Like come on. How old is Biden? Oh, he's a million. Like he's got two years old. Yeah, where she is? I don't know. I wouldn't. You wouldn't automatically look like he's got fighting experience, but he definitely looks like a young man. And he's got a job. What if Joe Biden leans in and says I am so gonna enjoy it? Yeah, Joe Biden says, Thank you. It's, like, so cute. Hey, man, I'm still gonna beat the shit out. Yeah, exactly. I don't I don't think that you see if you hear if you're about to have a fight with a dude in his 80s. And you hear I'm so going to enjoy this. You start thinking you're part of some assisted suicide thing. You're like, Oh, God. This guy. This guy wants it the end now. You can be as tall. Naked. Hi. Don's. staring at each other kills them. Yeah, it's just yeah, I'll bring back a logical link to your question. I appreciate that. My love. Thank you the geopolitics come into that it did. And I want to just get a little side note in here that I went to college in Washington, DC. And in Washington, you see one of the worst places to park in the entire world. And you could always find parking at the Tibetan embassy because the Buddhist would never do anything you like you could always Park in their reserve spots, and the Buddhists would just let it roll. Isn't that a bad use of your karma though? It's probably is and I probably still paying for that. I don't want to contribute to your anxiety. But knowing your life story, you probably haven't paid for that yet. Like it's like I think it's amazing how difficult it is spending time with you. All right, Jamie mystery box. All right, if you were to open up the greeters guild membership to other members of the animal kingdom. Yeah, Which animal do you think would make the best reader. Oh 1,000% a qualquer qualquer a qualquer qu? O double k? So qualquer zoo these animals in Australia? I think I met I met some in Perth, right? I don't know if they're just Perth, but they're on Australia. So these clockers I don't quite even know what they are they're like these kind of gerbil things they run around this island right? Called Rottnest I think it's got. And soon as they see you these pockets, they just think you're a big qualquer like they just run up to you, they'll eat out your hand, you can pet them, you could stroke them that friendly is how I think that only in Australia though I as far as I'm aware, but look them up because these are the most adorable, innately friendly animals ever. Which is weird because their name sounds like an insult. cuaca your Cauca Yeah, it does. Actually it does. But it's a very on the nose answer but with Australia like that they have an animal that is actually evolutionary so messed up that it comes towards the thing that probably should fear most a qualquer they still about so like, people haven't gotten rid of the walkers? Yeah. So like, people were just like, these guys are cool. So they're like, Oh, well, people are cool, too. So everyone's just hanging out. Not to go full circle here. But charming. The Kwok charming. And that's how they survive. Right? On the charm. 100%. Yeah. All right. I do have a follow up question. You're interviewing new members for the greeters guild? What is one animal human human? Human? Excellent question. That was a good clarification. Yeah. What is one question you must ask in each interview to vet out charlatans? Is it possible to be a lover and a fighter at the same time? That's the That's the real question. That's a good point. Yeah, the callbacks are amazing. This question would be, I guess, is I would say, I mean, once the questions of the mouth, I just put them right on the spot. And I'd go right, compliment me now. Got up. Who cares? Cuz like when I'm doing this thing I have to react. And so I'd be like, I'd see how they got on with that. Computers always have one ready to go. Yeah, the good one. Great. I actually went to New York. And I actually met some because we don't have greeters here really, in the UK. But that's why I'm such an anomaly. But But like, when I, I went to New York, I think I went to a CVS. And it was a great job. And it was a couple of different ones. I went to the same CVS. And I don't know, there wasn't like a high level of enthusiasm or excitement at my presence in the store I have. There's definitely a level of greeting is you could still take a lot from The Guild. Yeah, like great is the I've seen they technically group. It's like the bare minimum of human interaction to like fulfill the job. They say, Hey, how you doing? That is alright, mystery box. It is a trend slash fad that you can sign up for a service that will send you a mystery box. It's a it's a clothing service, you get a mystery box of clothes, or a mystery box of something. Is there a business or product for which you would never subscribe to their monthly mystery box? Probably the Conservative government. Probably like the Tories, like I would hate to see what you'd get in a Tory mystery box. Perhaps their mystery box would be empty. And then you would have to put things in it to send it back to the idea of that conservative box. Yeah, that would be interesting. In the United States. That would be a gun, a Bible. A flag would be what you would get. Yeah, you'd give you every year. Last month's box. Yeah. They throw that to you every month and just saying you got to have more guns. You got to have more Bibles. And you got to have more flag. I don't have any issues with people who have guns or having guns. I grew up in a house with lots of guns, but they were all hunting rifles, right like my father was a hunter. I don't hunt. I don't really think that somebody's going to break into maybe try and get you to do it when you're a kid and then shoot a deer and then cover your face and it's blood and you cry and and you're like this isn't for me. I wish it was a story like I wish it was that it was more about the fact that the idea of walking into the woods for a long time taking down a buck and then dragging that animal all the way back seemed absolutely miserable to me like the I with you is more logical than emotional? Yeah, I think so you're happy to hunt by the side of a road or in a parking lot, I guess, because I would don't want to do any cardio. As you can see, by my size, I avoid cardio at all costs. Is it possible that we could reschedule this episode at the time it was originally scheduled for and I can be late? Yeah, we'll just do and some of your materials have been a little off today, but that's okay. When this ultimately airs my life it turns out, I thought there were three people yeah, there's only a limited out of this episode completely. Alright. So online, people should follow you to purchase tickets to your live shows or see your other content where? Absolutely, so I, Troy hook on all late platforms, tick tock, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, all of that. And then I'm touring the UK, Australia. And then I'm in New York again in October for a couple of weeks. I'm at the Soho House in New York for a couple of weeks. So where are you got gigs in the city? Well, basically, I did a little fringe that they do. They do this thing called fringe encore series. And they have like 20 shows that the guys pick from around the world and, and I was lucky enough to like get best show. So the prize for that was you get an extended run. So that's what we're doing in October. But yeah, it's a lovely, lovely venue. It's like an off off Broadway venue. I'm looking forward to that. All right, well check that out. I am going to excuse myself from this episode. I think everyone else is as well which back your chairs. We are going to push back our chairs and we will see you next time at the comedy roundtable for maybe Jamie and Adam. Come visit us at the punch line comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia or see our comedians live on a stage near you. See you next time.