Amy Lyle

People around here trust the shepherd. Jamie and the other Jamie. They always have the sheep trust to gather around. I'll throw another log on the fire. Turn it up just a touch on another episode of the podcast is starting now. Brand new episode of the podcast starts now. Jamie Bendel Jamie Hernan, Adam is looking to me to good. Boom, what? Wow. Okay, talk about how it's gonna be ripped, flipping. That's how it's gonna be script flipped. Well watch what the commoners do watch with the drop off right there. plays out much shorter. All right, our guest this evening is comedian Amy Lyle. Amy, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me, shepherds, I appreciate you taking the time to join us. Our format is a little game show ish. So we like to ask kind of rapid fire questions of our guests get to know them a little bit better see where the conversation flows from there will of course provide ample opportunity to update on those things and projects and whatnot that people can consume, the content that you create and where to follow your work and all the rest of it. And I'm happy because you and I have paneled together numerous times, many times, many, many times. And I've had the good fortune of being in your club a couple times working on some things we have been on I think show together at least once. Yes. Yeah. Hey there, Jamie. More like a third wheel? No. Mystery I was just, I was gonna make a comment about you know, have you paneled with metal but then I was pretty sure you're gonna say Yeah, everybody's panel. Game Show Music me I'm gonna promise you game show music. You're not going to hear it now. But you'll hear it in the format of the questions. First one we always give as a sample one to our guests to acclimate them to the idea. And that question is clockwise or counterclockwise? Is my preference. Yeah, be careful here. Oh, clockwise. All right, clockwise. I'm sometimes accused of asking questions that are you asking questions not making statements? No, no, I am. I'm setting up my question. This is probably the most important question I've ever asked on the podcast. Here we go. Amy. Is it Paper scissors rock or rock? Paper, Scissors? Paper, Scissors, Rock. Thank God. Adam. Have you ever heard it referred to as Roshambo? Yes, I have. And do you know who roshambo was historically roshambo was a separate sub character played by Cartman on South Park. I believe you need to do a reading roshambo was a critical figure in the Revolutionary War when we were fighting the British and roshambo used Paper scissors rock no to defeat the British. That was how the code that they gave us very clever. That was part of the code saved on the expenses of weapon. Amy. Hold on. I'm fascinated. Follow up. It's really great follow ups. We'll talk about the next I guess. Yeah, I'm Amy. What is your favorite game show music? Oh my gosh, nothing comes to mind. There's some classics out there like the Plinko yodeler the bump up? Like the prices right? But yeah, there's long intro and they're walking in. Very good. Yeah. Okay. Prices. Right. Good. Actually, it's funny that you said it because I never considered that that was like a theme song. But now that you say it, I'm like, oh, yeah, I did. I couldn't identify with anything. You said the Plinko you'll yodeler so there was Plinko. But then there was also the yodel game wasn't where the guy goes off the cliff. He like comes up and goes. Okay, so I've made a mistake. The cliff was that was the height that was great, but did plink Plinko? Which of course, was a classic. Was there a song associated with Plinko? I think there was. But let's go to Jamie's question. And we'll follow that up in the next segment. Excellent. Amy, my question, if you had only one social media that you could keep, and you could get rid of the rest? Which one would you keep Twitter? Okay. It's a writer's medium. I agree. If 13 year old Amy was invited to do a TEDx talk, what would the subject be? It would be the same subject that I did my TED TEDx talk this year, which would be finding the funny and the crummy, huh? If you went to bed tonight, woke up tomorrow morning, you found out that Beezus had passed away but had given you all of his money. What do you do? First? I buy a jet and a pilot to go with it around to fly me around the world to amazing venues. Yes, jet airplane. Good call a true luxury. What's your first stop? My first stop would be Greece. I'm actually supposed to be in Greece right now. But then Greece was closing down. So now I'm, instead of the coast of Greece. I'm on the coast of Georgia. Making up a game show. Theme Song has got to be one of the easiest things to do because you can just do notes and noises and it doesn't really have to be anything no right? Yeah anything I heard the money's not in it though. The money's not very good for the game show guys the game show hosts are you kidding me? No the licensing money on the on the songs you don't get regular rate there's some fame under rain show song writer out there who's gonna just get a voodoo doll of you Bendel is gonna have he's the Dick Clark of rock game show hosts. Yeah, which we provided that was but if that was your thing if you meet somebody invariably Okay, so what do you do for a living? Anybody? Like? Turns out like I'm the go to guy. Yeah, um, the John Lennon of game shows some songs. And you need to ask a lightning quote. We're gonna talk about this more, because I'm actually now very intrigued with that question. Yeah, no, like, is there a guy? That's the go to guy right? Of course, there's a guy. There's always a guy. What are you more afraid of? A blank page or a joke? That doesn't get a laugh? And a blank page? Hmm. Interesting. All right. All right. That is lightning. Round number one. I think we have some fertile ground very far. Next round of questions. This is the podcast, we will be back with Amy Lal right after this. Alright, so game shows. Yeah. Have you ever been on a real actual game show? No. Okay, you neither. My question is, would you want to be on a game show where you were failed by your brain or by your body body, because it would be expected. If you saw me on the show, you'd say that guy's body is probably going to fail. So like those Wipeout style shows? Whatever. I would know that my failure by my body would be entertaining the audience so that would make me happy if I got hit by any loss or whatever, whatever get knocked down. I know I'm gonna make people laugh so I'm so you would not be doing American Ninja Warrior? i Well, that would probably be entertaining as well. I just would not get very far do you think you would want to do a long form game show like a survivor you go to an island. I would like that from a weight loss standpoint, like drop me off in an island for 30 days, I would finally drop those 20 pounds and I'm even trying to draw and so I think I could do better on a brain show. So I want to be on that kind of show. So I guess I'd rather be failed by my body. I don't want to be in a show where I give a dumb answer or something. And you know Who Wants to Be a Millionaire or the person loses in the first round? Are You Smarter Than a fifth grader? Wheel of Fortune Jeopardy style show? Most beauty pageants that poor girl right? A poor girl. That's been a long time now. That's like 10 years. Yeah. Bad answer live on. Some numbers give it from ever escape and Bendel you, brain or body? I don't know. I kind of feel like I would do better on a brain show. So I think I would rather I would assume that if I was going to be on a game show I'd be failed by my by my body. But if there was a wipeout style place that I could just go to on the weekend and pay to run the course I would be doing it every weekend. I see I watch those shows and they all look grievously injured. Yes. But like it's you're falling awkwardly and in weird ways guy died on Wipeout. That was her way. Yeah, yeah. Let's go back to the guest. All right, sheep. settle in for our next segment here with our guest Jamie Vettel. Jamie. Hernan, Adam. Hey, burn up a little better, better, better. Coming back from our first little break there. Our guest this episode, Amy Lyle. This round, we delve a little deeper into some of the topics that were raised in the first lightning round gentlemen who would like to, I'd like to jump right in. On the game show. The game's right over Rambo. We can come back to roshambo but and let's let's I want to place you into like a college Amy and your to meet two guys in a bar. And one guy says he works for the CIA. And the other guy says I write game show songs. Who are you more interested in talking to? How are we the gentleman in the CIA? I love all the movies about the CIA and I love all that true spy stuff. Okay, isn't it possible that the guy saying he writes the theme songs is the one who's actually in the CIA? Because the guy says he's in the CIA? Oh, no, he's an analyst. If he says he's in the CIA, he's definitely an analyst. Right? The guy who does the game show could be clandestine. Right? That's why they're, I would like to change my answer based on that. Because I want the guy that's really the spy. Yeah, that can be funny and right Pepe Pepe you know, could you imagine that he's getting his briefing at the Central Intelligence Agency and they say to him Okay, so we have you in as import export guy, you're gonna be bringing GH statues and he's like, Yeah, I'm thinking a better cover. Game Show song guy you know that he was originally a game shows song guy that they recruited in there. Like we need someone with a song they could believe that he's his research if those exist. The only country I've watched Game shows from is probably Japan. Yes. Yeah, they're extreme with their game show. They are extreme. But imagine a game show in the Middle East where they could stone you. Oh, if you lose. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, that'd be the most serious ultimate whammy. Stop. music It's not that heavy no stoning, no stoning. Stoning. So I want to ask the panel experts. So Amy and Bendele, if you were on a panel show in the Middle East, and there happened to be a person designated to be standing in front of you with rocks, just in case you went off script or said something wrong. Would that create a little bit of pressure? Quite a bit of pressure? I would, I would ask how much am I being paid to appear on the panel? I wouldn't go on the panel in the Middle East. Yeah, that's a good call. That's a good recently murdered that poor focusing. I was just trying to cheer people up. I feel like my hypothetical may have brought the show down a little bit. Yeah, I am going to pep it up with some game show music right there. I do want to finish this thought out. Amy. Would you like to go first or last? Have a completely made up game show theme song? Last Last. Okay, so Jamie will go first. Oh, I have to make one up. Make no word. No lyrics. Just sounds. Bah bah, bah, bah. No, no, that's the sentence sounds the same. Okay, so trashing game show people before? So I'm going to give you some additional information. Okay. Would you like a quiz show? Would you like a physical activity show like a dancing with stars or stoning? I think I would like the Middle Eastern stoning show. We were trying to avoid all that's like a Hunger Games types. Okay, so what would you? Yeah, so there you go. So you set you're telling me the game show and then tell me the song. Okay. Hunger Games, where at least I'll hunger Hunger Games style, right. Multiple guests on the show. Are we gonna have actual death or just actual death? Okay. Okay. Okay. Ba ba ba, ba ba ba da da da da. Gonna die tonight. My show is a quiz show. And my song is. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I need an answer. That's good. Okay. Amy, are you ready? Yeah. She said she wanted to go by yours. I'm gonna go. No, she actually gets to go last. So that's your last. Okay. It's like, go clockwise or counterclockwise and then make her go counterclockwise. Okay. When she says clockwise elliptical last. Well, you'll be second to last. Okay. I am going to do a bachelor style dating show. Yes. That involves extreme sports. Yes. Okay. Okay. X Games meets the bachelor. Yeah, the theme song is Yep. As follows data got the cuts of the different thing. And it's like Beauty and the Beast. Try it again. But this time with Adam, adding that you're gonna die tonight part that you added to mind because it was good. All right, Amy. Okay, mine is going to be on land but over pools with animals that will eat you like a killer whale or maybe like Puranas you know, things like that. And it's gonna combined trivia questions with physical things so you know, physical tasks before you can go to the next physical task, you'd have to answer a question indeed. Very good. Answer the question wrong. You're eaten by the animal if you fail the physical activity also in the water eaten by the killer whale or the Chronos This is probably the show out of the United States for Oh, yeah. You know, for many reasons why ability. Yeah, they're in a way my theme song would be like, Dun dun dun dun and then have like the sounds of like Jaws ripping somebody apart. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Like that kind of like a Jurassic Park type feel very good. I love that. I like the whole theme that your show is probably going to either physically fit or you're smart. And if you're not both, you're dead. It really makes it you know, balances it out. I love it. I love it. So it can't just be one package you got to bring you gotta bring two tools to play, don't you think? Alright, I'm gonna blow your mind with a fun fact about theme songs. Alan Thicke wrote the theme songs for the Joker's wild celebrity sweepstakes knew it. And the original Wheel of Fortune theme song holy cow. He really is the the Dick Clark of theme shows. There you go. One minute to talk about roshambo okay, I'm just gonna do this real quick because it's embarrassing that you don't know who that is. Well, I know who roshambo is. I was taught as I said Cartman told me all about Hamilton. This is In Hamilton really bad because roshambo was the in charge of all French forces. He was the commander that basically ran all French wars. He was at the Battle of Yorktown, which I don't know if you watched Hamilton but was a big one. Right? Basically where the British finally said, we're out of here. Right? He was also the guy that can act. He was also the guy that convinced what George, you really don't have a George Washington without Shambo because George Washington sitting and going Hey, Shambo, you know, we should do we should attack New York. I want to get New York back and he's like, No, Yorktown is the way to go. They're on their edge. We can really break their backs and Washington's like, no, New York, New York, New York. And roshambo is like Yorktown, Yorktown Yorktown and boom, we did Yorktown. He's strategic genius. George Washington goes on to be president and be a great leader. But at the same time, the fact that you didn't know who roshambo is. I didn't say I didn't know who he was. He kind of did. I just I just know the more famous Cartman variety. He thought it was just a game of rock paper scissors. No. Paper, Scissors, Rock. We have come to another intermission in segments here with our guest this evening on the podcast. Our guest is Amy Lyle. How many points do I have? Jamie Do you have enough points to sync one of corn Wallace's ships? Well done. Alright, we'll be back with more of the podcast our guest Amy Lyle right after this. Alright, so you get invited to do a TED Talk. What's the topic? My TED talk is how to be a better parent. Little humblebrag there Yeah. Dish. Oh my that would be my my TED talk. Alright, that people complicate parenting. I would have figured it would have been raising good dog raising Bad Dog No cuz I can't speak to how to raise Bad dog because I just have such conflicted you are doing it though. I am really not every day you go to bed. That's another day of raising bad. I you know, I got thinking about it today. Because good dog is getting older. Oh, and bad dog is going to have some time period where he's only dog. I am getting another dog. Like Oh, almost immediately. So you need to get a dog now. Yeah, even when he is only dog. He cannot be for duck. Good dog. If you get another dog and that dog is worse than bad dog can't be that change bad dog's name? No, no. What do you call it? Worst dog? Well, so you've created a hypothetical that won't exist, right? Because it's impossible to have a worse dog than when you already have the worst stock. Yeah. So in your TED talk about better parenting. Yeah. If someone has good child, and then they have bad child, you're saying that they should have another child in order to balance off bad child? Oh, no. I think if you have good child and that child, yes, the likelihood is if you have subsequent child, subsequent child will be better than bad job. Bad child will always be the worst. Yes. Yeah. You're saying the middle child is always the worst? Oh, no, no, no, I'm not saying the worst that you can have. In fact, I think that middle child thing is way over No. Middle children are awesome. Yeah. All right. So here's the deal. This is to answer your question. In my case, when it comes to dog ownership, and I could give a great TED talk on dog ownership. Yep. I can't speak to cat people. Dogs, good dogs, bad dogs. Most dogs are good dogs, the bad dog category as a subset of dogs, which are the worst dogs. I just happened to have one. Don't worry, I didn't forget about you. Your TED talk. You did forget about me, because we're now cutting this in because you put the button again. But let's just say my TED talk. I forgot what it would be now. What's your favorite TED Talk moment? I have a funny TED Talk moment. Al Gore was in the audience. Right. Tony Robbins was giving a TED Talks. And he was saying, you know, can't let other people control your life. You know, tell me one example where the other people controlled your life and Al Gore. Yes. The Supreme Court of the United States. It was great. Are you allowed to heckle at TED Talks? Apparently, maybe at a TEDx if you are that so So you're telling me that I can go home and go down the rabbit hole of TED Talk heckles right talker destroys Yes. Keilor Yeah, that I would love if that doesn't exist. I am absolutely embarking on a second career as the TED talk or that goes off topic to destroy heck, what I love about the fact that Bendel's TED talk was going to be better parenting, his heckler would have been Kelly his spouse. Alright, we are back with our second lightning round segment here on the back house. Our guest this evening, Amy Lyle. Amy before we get into that lightning round give us a quick rundown of the variety of projects that you're involved in right now you've got in the burbs I've got in the burbs. It's a fun one hour talk show dealing with women's issues. You know mother to menopause to live show sheets at four o'clock you can follow it in the burbs with Amy and Gina and you guys do a great job on it. You get good guests with Great Gatsby it's really fun in the burbs with Me Gina, I am a best selling humor writer, two books, The Book of failures, 300 pages of my personal failures, and then a collection of failures after that, called, we're all a mess. It's okay. As someone who cares about the women in my life, I think it's great that you actually start breaking down the walls that says it's okay to fail. And it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay not to go to Kroger with you know, your hair done correctly in the right makeup and talking about your yoga and, you know, having all the balancing your career and your kids and all that stuff. So, I think it is, I think there's a lot of expectation on women in our lives. And I appreciate when anytime when people actually sit down and have the real discussion, like having kids is really hard. And sometimes being married is really hard. And sometimes having a career is really hard. And sometimes we can't do any of it well, right. Alright, so second lightning round, would you like clockwise or switch up in counter clockwise here for round two of the lightning questions, mix it up with the counter clockwise counter clockwise. All right, starting with Jamie. John James Audubon is known for his detailed paintings of birds. And according to his biographer, William Sodor, or Souder, or Bill, Audubon, killed many birds and wood pin them up immediately to paint them, which I'm told was the inspiration for the original version of the famous portrait painting scene from the movie that Titanic but was later scrapped. Would you rather be on the upper deck, eating a fine dinner or dancing away with the crew in the lower decks? Who's going first? Yeah, you it's your answer your question your question. And please know, I would be on the top deck eating the finest. Somebody kidding me? I'm a dancer in the basement. So that's funny that I can I can just call down to the basement and have them come up to my room. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Dance for me, crew. For me. All of you. Get to it. Yeah. That was kind of a way to question because I knew the ending of that, you know, story, because I'm like, I'll stay on the top. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't go well. It doesn't go. Well. For those on the bottom follow up. Question. If you were on a sinking ship, would you rather survive or die with the crew in the lower deck? I would rather survive. Okay. That's what she would say. I thought that's what I was in the crib. I was the captain. I would go down with the ship. Yeah. I think I would be tempted to resign my position as captain. My letter I have an announcement to make. I am the captain of the ship. That is the charge iceberg anyway, we can get. We're gonna hit it. I think it's true that those violins were playing until the very end, they were loading their leave baton trunks on those little boats. And in the musicians were playing as those wealthy people got on the boats as they lock the gates to the bottom. Do you think that's true story? Survivors have affirmed the band plays on story. Oh, my gosh, imagine that. Right? I mean, isn't that crazy? Because I think the band was just, you know, they're like, well, we like to play another shot. Yeah. And I don't I mean, I'm not if you're not a, you know, if you're not a rescue boat, you might as well play your instrument. They're gonna stop playing, you're going to the basement. Alright, handle my turn for a question. All right, Amy, what is the most difficult subject for you to talk about? When you are writing jokes in my childhood? Probably what, you know, most comedians, they have a painful childhood. And so it has great material, but it is kind of painful to relive that, but in a way, it's cathartic. I think that's why we do it, right? Indeed, it's a form of therapy. Absolutely. Any what was something that you were sure of in high school that you later determined that? absolutely not true? Probably that you have to be a really nice girl like the like, you can't do anything wrong, you have to be perfect. And that's just not true. I came from my parents are German, German, Irish and English, but very strongly German. And so we never talked about her feelings and you just swept issues under the rug. And they were mortified that I wrote a book about my failures. But, you know, when you're repressed like that for decades, it eventually will come out in either healthy or unhealthy ways that you think. Absolutely, absolutely. Alright. Kuta Lune was a woman born in the 1200s in Central Asia. She was the daughter of the most powerful ruler in the region at the time and was known to be a fierce warrior and wrestler legend has it that in order to marry her, would be suitors would have to beat her first in wrestling being forced to wager their horses in the event that they were defeated. Supposedly, she never lost and had a herd numbering 10,000 horses as a result So, first question, how many horses did she need to have before her suitors should have figured out it was a bad wager to? Yeah, that's a good call. Yeah. 10,000 is a little ridiculous. And follow up question. If you had a racehorse, what would you name it? I would name it. I would name it Caymus after my favorite wine, because if I had a racehorse, I could probably buy that winery as well. Nice. Yeah, very classy. And you could drink him as well watching or I could drink it in the millionaire's row with my hat. Lovely ponies running around. I think there's a recurring theme. answers. I came from a small town. All right, Amy. Have you ever made a mixtape on a cassette? Yes, Chicago, baby and Madonna friends. Okay, so I'm now asking at the time, did you ever make a mixtape for a romantic interest? Okay, okay. And who? I love. Okay, that wasn't as excited about my horse was because I'm always curious. Was this a person with whom you're in a relationship or you want it to be in a relationship? It was actually a person that I was in a relationship and then out of relationship and wanted to be back in the relationship. Oh, yeah. So he broke my heart. Now mix. Which artist was the foundation of that mixtape prints? Yes. Okay. Really good. I'm sure every teenage boy is so moved by. Oh, don't get yourself I think. Okay, that wasn't a it wasn't a you broke my heart tape or I want to get back together with you tape. It was a you broke my heart tape. And I also would like to get back to that side. I think side a right explains how you broke my heart. Right? Yeah, I my college roommate who probably is listening this podcast right now. We're still very close friends. He used to close out our nights after a long night drinking. If we had people in our dorm room together and they it was time for them to go. We always close it out with Purple Rain. Oh, that's a great tradition. It was no yeah, it was rain came on it man Chris is going to bed and we're shutting it down. In the event that you had a superpower and you can't be invisibility or flying. What would that superpower be? I would have like Solomon level wisdom intelligence. Oh, like crazy smart. Like crazy. Crazy. Bill Gates smart, right? smart enough to beat an animal in a Jeopardy style show. And you can apply logic very quickly. Right? You're not getting eaten by the Puranas in that scenario? No, and I would be physically fit. Nice. Alright, in 1989, Pepsi entered into a deal with the Soviet Union, whereby it's sold its its products to the country in exchange for 17 Old submarines and three warships as a result before they sold the fleet to a Swedish company for scrap recycling. Pepsi had the sixth largest Navy in the world bringing a whole new perspective to the Cold War. So my question to you is Coke or Pepsi? I'm from the I'm from Ohio. I'm a Pepsi girl. Whoa, we're up against the end if people would like to consume more of your content, what's the best way to track you down on the interwebs on Facebook and Twitter? My handle is very clever. It's Amy Lyle my name and my website where everything is is Amy lal.me.com was taken I'm not a narcissist. And again, the podcast is in the burbs with me and Gina and my books are available anywhere that you buy books. We're all a mess. It's okay. And the book of failures are awesome. I feel so lucky to get to do this show. Thank you so much. Amy. You've been an outstanding guest we loved it we've seemed so fast because we had such a good time. Yeah, that was great. All right, thanks a field back to the salt mine get out of here. All right, that was our guest Amy a while go check her out. She's a talented comedian also author she is a panelist and if you haven't seen in the burbs is actually a terrific show that she does with Gina rial, so make sure you go check it out until the next episode sheep don't wander too far because we'll need you back here for the brand new episode. Until then taka taka fighters getting low. This episode of the podcast is over domna gold now. Back to where you will call you back. It's time for another podcast talking